There is this boy I've been crushing on for like six months -we'll call him 'Ben.' So finally I grow some balls and decide to hunt him down.
I knew where he'd be, and all I really had to do was walk in the door and there he was. He came over to me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, wanted my number (because we've hung out before, but it's never been planned) and told me he'd call me to hang out later that day.
Now, I got really excited, especially when he called me 10 minutes later and said let's hang out - it's later in the day already. So he came over, and we talked for a long time, than started k-i-s-s-i-n-g.
BUT THEN, I said let's continue this 'escapade' after we've hung out a few more times ... he said he didn't see what the big deal was. He wasn't being mean, in fact he was being respectful because he stopped and all, but he was totally frustrated and at four in the morning got up and left, telling me that if I were interested I could call him and that the events of the night, had been to say the least, an experience.
So after thinking about it and also talking to a few of my friends who find 'Ben' just as attractive as I do, I decided that I was being silly-after all I've liked him for forever, and it's not like he's a stranger.
SO, I called him and left a message when I knew he wouldn't be around, and he never called back. Also, I called him at like twp in the morning from my roomie's cell to see if he would answer, and he did, luckily he didn't know it was me.
So, I guess I'm just wondering what my next step should be, or if I've lost Ben to his sexual urges. Or, should I just consider him a manwhore and move on?
- The girl who has respect for herself
Dear The girl who has respect for herself,
So he's screening your calls and hasn't returned your call? That doesn't bode well.
I'd say this "Ben" guy isn't the greatest. He's obviously easy on the eyes and eager to get you into bed. But not too eager. You've known him for a while, yet you've never really hung out? And here he is kissing you when you don't really know him all that well. I hate to say this, but "Ben" is a man whore. He doesn't want you for a relationship. All he wants is an easy lay. He's obviously not trying too hard to be your friend. If he wanted to be a friend and let this relationship grow into something more, he wouldn't be pushing you away and not calling you back.
Basically, "Ben" isn't interested in you as a friend or a potential girlfriend. He is the quintessential man whore. Forget about him, and find someone else. Unless, of course, you too are looking for an easy lay.
- Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
I met this boy about a month ago and we have hung out almost every weekend since.
I really liked him at first, but then he got a little too serious for me so we stopped talking every day. Since then I have had a few little flings, but I have still always talked to this original guy.
Most of the time I love being a girl and the power that comes with it, but lately I have been in the "I just want to cuddle mood" which is not very fun when you are just having flings and don't have that one boy to call and ask to come over.
I don't know if that is exactly why, but my feelings for this guy have been getting stronger again. Now he has invited me to have our first real sleepover. I wouldn't normally think it is a big deal, but he goes to school in WI and therefore I would be driving an hour to have this sleepover.
I am a little uneasy about it and I am not sure why. It could be because I am leaving my comfort zone, the Cities, or because I really don't know him that well and it probably isn't the safest thing to do yet, or it could be because I think he does want to be serious and if I went to his place, I could be leading him on to something I am not sure I want yet.
This possible sleepover is Thursday night, so please help asap.
- Queasy about my first sleepover
Dear Queasy about my first sleepover,
I think you hit the nail on the head here: You're uneasy about this sleepover because you don't know him that well and you think you might be leading him on.
But I think you're fine. He has to know where you stand in this relationship because of the fact that you already are taking a break from him.
He has to know you aren't looking for anything too serious at the moment. He might, however, think you're ready to take the relationship to the next level and become more serious because you are agreeing to spend the night with him.
You need to be up front about your feelings for him. Let him know you care about him but aren't looking for anything long term right now. You're happy where you're at and you'd like to be more intimate but not more serious. Does that make sense? It might be tough for him to get the point, but as long as you tell him right away, nobody should get hurt.
I say if you like the guy and you're thinking this relationship might be something great in the long run, go for it. Take it to the next level.
- Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
So here is my situation. My boyfriend moved in with my aunt and her family about two months ago for a free place to live and in return, he is giving my younger cousin tennis lessons.
Now we are broken up and he is still living there. Frankly, I am very bothered by this. It wouldn't be so bad, but he continues to hang out with other relatives of mine and discusses our relationship with them EVEN THOUGH IT IS OVER!
I spoke with both my ex and my aunt to let them know how strongly I felt about him still living there, but now, three weeks later, he continues to live there.
Another problem is that my mom and my aunt are now arguing about him living there. What do I do?
- Family feud
Dear Family feud,
This must be awkward and tough on your family, but I don't think there's really anything you can do.
In a perfect world, your ex would be more than happy to move out because he would still care for you and see how upset his living situation is making you. Also in a perfect world, your aunt would send him packing if she wanted to avoid any tension in the family circle.
However, the world's not perfect. You have absolutely no say in who can or cannot live in your aunt's house.
The only thing you can do is let your aunt and ex know how uncomfortable they are making you. Don't go screaming and throwing a tantrum - be civil and just reason with them.
If that doesn't work, you're just going to have to suck it up and live with it.
- Dr. Date
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