>Oh, and to the men's hockey manager who was at a Dinkytown bar Friday name-dropping all the hockey players and talking about Dr. Date quite loudly, I heard everything you said because I was one booth away. And, quite frankly, I don't care if you think Barry is getting love-handles; he still gets my vote.
Keep an eye on practice so you don't get slashed by a stick while you're on the bench filling up those water bottles (at least that's what Danny Irmen told you, right?).
- Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
Heyo. Here's my trouble: I've fallen in love with a faraway country, have been interested in it since middle school, and very much want to live there. I plan to study abroad there the year after next, and then after finishing my degree, to move there (for many years at the least).
The problem is that, while I would very much enjoy a girlfriend, I don't want to have to choose between the country and them, if they didn't want to go there with me. I'd also not like to be in a relationship just to past the time, with the intention of breaking up with them later. I also think that once I'm past this period, it won't matter at all if I didn't have a girlfriend. Waiting seems to be the far more rational choice, only it is unpleasant at this time.
As an additional constraint, I'm currently living about an hour south of campus, and the bus I take only runs at 2 times. Therefore any activity past 3:30 is out of limits to me, so even if I was looking for a female, there wouldn't be much we could besides lunch. Next year I'll be on campus, but even then there is still the first problem.
What I'm wondering, is you have any good advice on how to wait it out. If you want to try to talk me out of waiting, or give a top 10 list, that's A OK, but also some good advice on waiting would be much appreciated. Keep up the good work.
- Country lover
Dear Country lover,
OK, so I am going to try to talk you out of waiting but I'll also give you a little advice on how to wait it out.
So for the first, you never know. You could find a fantastic girl in the next few years who will love you so much she'll leave with you. Why would you want to stop yourself from being happy in the next few years just so you could move to another country? There's really no sense in it at all.
Don't pass up the opportunity to meet a great girl just because you know you're going to move. If you meet that girl who you know there's a definite future with, don't turn her away without giving her the opportunity to decide for herself if she wants to run away with you to another world.
If you meet someone you think you want to start a relationship with, be up front with her in the beginning and let her know your plans for after college. Let her decide if she wants to stick it out knowing you plan to leave the country.
Now, for the waiting, the easiest way for this is to have a string of flings. I'm not condoning random sex with a slew of strangers. Instead, I'm just saying if you're not looking for a serious relationship, find someone who you can hang out with on a regular basis and also have a good time with - a friend with benefits, if you will.
If you're not looking for that type of relationship, just hang out with friends, go to movies, lunches, concerts, etc. Do whatever you have to do to substitute a girl in your life for some fun. Just don't sit at home like a hermit because you live so far away. I've been a commuter and had to take those long bus rides home every day. I know how hard it is to be secluded from your peers. One of the best things you can do is make some friends who live on campus. Stay with them on the weekends. Hang out like a normal college student.
Whatever you decide to do, you need to be up front with the people in your life. Let them know you don't plan on sticking around and you're not going to change your mind.
- Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
I have a crush on one of my friends. We have been friends for a couple of years.
He however is a huge butt hole sometimes and really nice to me at other times. I want to get over him, but it is really hard because I have many classes with him, I work on homework with him, and he is one of my friends.
I can't just ignore him because without him I would be failing a couple of classes. I was hoping you could give me a top 10 list of how to get over a crush that you have to see several times a week.
Oh, this sucks, and I know from experience. The crush you see all the time is such a curse.
It's really hard to have a crush and have to see that person on a daily basis. And it's even worse when you're friends with your crush. I have been known to have a few crushes on people whom I see quite often and am even friends with. So I completely understand your situation - as I'm sure tons of my readers do as well. So, I'd be more than happy to give you a top-10 list.
Here are the top 10 ways to get over a friendly crush:
10) Don't shower, your crush won't want to be around you anymore.
9) Let it run its course.
8) Tell your crush you're into him or her so you'll finally know one way or the other.
7) Find little things in your crush's personality, manner or actions that bother you and think about them every time you see your crush.
6) Find someone else to crush on.
5) Make a CD with "breakup" songs and listen to it every time you think about your crush.
4) Try to get a visual of your crush going to the bathroom - everybody poops.
3) Think of your crush as a sibling. The urge to mate will go away super fast - at least I would hope so.
2) Find a well-known person to crush on. Celebrity crushes are so much easier to deal with than real-life ones.
1) Find a therapist, go to weekly appointments and let me know in a month or so how to get over the friendly crush because personally, I suck at it.
- Dr. Date
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