Dear Dr. Date,I wa...

Dear Dr. Date,

I was drinking coffee and studying the other day (I study a lot), when this girl gave me the most flirtatious smile. She was attractive: tall, blond curly hair and she wore glitter. I've never seen her before, nor have I seen her since, and I didn't even say hello or anything. What's a guy to do -- just be poised, ready to mack on EVERY cute girl who smiles at me? That would not be true to myself and completely contrary to my nature. Yet I'm really bummed I did not take the opportunity to talk with this one girl. What's a guy to do?

-- Just a Guy

Yes, you blew it. You should be prepared for any situation that may arise. Life, not just dating, is about recognizing and taking advantage of opportunities. It's understandable that you may have been busy studying (a valid opportunity in its own right), but you were in a coffee shop where activities such as conversations often take place.

What I really want to know is why she had the courage to mack on you, but you didn't feel it was appropriate to mack back. Sure, I understand that a simple smile may have been just a smile, especially from someone wearing glitter, but I don't think you would have been out of place to talk to her. There is a big difference between straight percentage macking and talking to a glittery girl who smiled at you first.

There are days when you (and everyone else) look just fabulous. Who knows what has brought it about, but you are attractive and interesting. Those are good days and when an attractive woman notices this, you should be prepared to talk to her. One time, I said hello to a stranger walking past on the street just because I was in a good mood. Two minutes later that person ran up to me and said it was the nicest thing anyone had said to them all day and bought me a pop. No dating took place, but I made a new friend. Don't kick yourself over this one. You are probably making more out of it due to the tragic circumstances of never seeing her again. I imagine you walking across campus thinking of this one fleeting smile and missing all the other passersby giving you a good look. Open up to the message center in the City Pages and you'll read the same sentiment from dozens of people in your same spot. "Saw you at the intersection of Lake and Hennepin. You were driving a Saturn. I was driving a ..." Usually these are totally hopeless pleas. Next time, don't censor yourself! Say "Hi!" or at least smile back. That poor, glittery woman probably felt as though you hated her.