HAIKU DAY Haiku ...

HAIKU DAY

Haiku flooded in

Melancholy and absurd

Alike made us beam

Here are the best ones

In order: Our fav'rite down

Monday; good morrow

From JJ Stardust:

i saw you trampled,

begging for haiku poems

muddy restroom floor

you rejected me

long ago, lonely freshman

seeking attention

my boot on your neck

i piss with contemplation,

here is your last chance.

stale basement party

Busch Light in cracked plastic cup

walk home drunk, alone

urinal salad

gum wad and pubic hair cling

faded cigarette

girl by the window

eats blueberry vegan scone

i drink black coffee

look! gary coleman!

what you talkin' 'bout, willis?

different strokes rerun

From The Fool: Hail most blessed Network! I must say that because of the plan to renovate the University's best looking building, I have waxed sore pissed. You guess it: "They" plan to renovate the most beautiful building on campus instead of dealing with the imminent parking shortage. To commemorate this moment in Bureaucracy, I would like to submit the following haiku:

Hey f##*%ing students!

Coffman needs renovation:

No parking for you!

It's a little known fact that the Regents want to adopt the first and last lines as official University policy. Later.

From Kinayta:

king T. the wayward

dons a royal blue jacket

when he comes hunting

and From Ishtar:

Fathead, meet your doom

King T. will be coming soon

He doesn't like you

King T. soon will reign,

Darren, Dreamer, both insane,

Stalkers are a bane.

From The Dreamer: Net,

Oh, please; I beg your pardon, I am not a stalker. I really would never intentionally harm anyone. I just don't like to admit that I live in a threatening world.

Erm when I'm walking

The net is just erm talking

Erm I'm not stalking

From Star of the Morning:

For the love of God

And the hate of the word "erm"

What hell have I spawned

There; I stand defeated. You have flung that despicable word in my face and I have succumbed to using it unnecessarily.

I'm sorry that I was not able to write a more satisfactory haiku. Overexposure to the word "erm" has worn my senses.

From IT With Style:

Beelzebub's realm

Is maroon and gold; who knew

Hell could be so cold?

From Guy Fish:

gives me the finger

my liver stands on my chest

twenty-first birthday*

* ... Based on a recent experience. Many thanks to the bouncer at Sally's that turned us away at the door.

From EvilGeniusMC:

Pencil on the floor

has a yellow eraser

but there is no lead

A valve in the heart,

atrioventricular,

opens and closes

From Schizo Louch:

Oh crispy-crunchety, peanut-buttery, ubiquitous-y Network. Your spirit commands us while your image remains untamed. I'll wager you appear before most in the shape of Steve Buscemi. Net: But we don't want to be Mr. Pink! Speculations aside, I have but three questions for the omnipotent and seemingly asexual Network:

What is a haiku?

Am I missing something here?

Can you help me out?

I think I might know

If you don't get back to me

I'll ask Dr. Date

After which, of course,

I'll try to write a Haiku

Sans punctuation

From The Rock Docta Pimp Inflecta:

when my day bitta

i read net on the shitta

everything betta

From The Makers of the Coffman Lizard to The Vandals of the Coffman Lizard:

On MLK weekend it snowed perfect sculpting snow and we three (the creators) decided to make a snow sculpture. We spent more than four hours building and carving that Lizard (Izzy). It is more than 13 feet long and more than four feet wide.

We want to know why you felt you had to TRY to destroy it. Did it feel good to kick and hit a solid block of ice? We find it absolutely hilarious that for all the effort it looks like you put into TRYING to destroy Izzy, you could only break the fin.

Hurt our lizard not

For ice is it's foundation

Dumb, Stupid, Vandals