An ode to Vice President Dick Cheney

.Whoever once said

There's an end to bad luck

Never met Dick Cheney

And had enough time to duck

He emerged from his cave

Dick's castle pretend

And with a kilo of birdshot

Popped an old friend

Hallelujah, he's fine

Harry's back in the sun

Steve Tyler was right

Cheney's got a gun

A heart attack later

Past a tablet or two

You'd think it was Cheney

Who abruptly turned blue

First it's bin Laden

Now it's a quail

"I just want one animal

That can't make me fail"

Misfortune or ruse

Dick's always had vigor

But this gives new meaning

To pulling the trigger

Dick says he was wrong

He said sorry to Harry

"It was an illusion, old friend

I thought you were Kerry"

The media took note

To no one's surprise

How could they not

Harry barely has eyes

But why all the drama

Why the lampoons

This was bad aim

Not some Danish cartoons

CNN made a timeline

Of the whole silly case

As for Michael Jackson

And his new plastic face

Dowd had a fit

Nearly called him a liar

Maher blew a gasket

And demanded a pyre

"Why hold the news?"

The press corps inquired

"He's silent, he's shifty,

He must have conspired!"

They claim a strange ploy

That Bush had to know

They want an investigation

Just to put on a show

Boxer could grandstand

Kennedy would cry

It would be Alito all over

"Why did you lie?!"

A hearing for Durbin

A statement for Dayton

The awful conclusion:

"Cheney is Satan"

As much as Dems weep

It's not like Dick tried

As much as libs sob

They can't prove Dick lied

They cry, "What a scoundrel!

He pretends to have guts,"

But Dems are just jealous

That Cheney has nuts

Alas, it's all over

Cheney's stopped talking

If only this ended

The media's sad squawking

He's a little more broken

Dick has to be hurt

But even this can beat out

A Halliburton alert

Harry's resting at home

A suit won't be filed

The press again proves

It can act like a child

"So back to my bunker"

Dick said as he twirled

"Time to plan for '08

When I take over the world"

If we were only so lucky

We can never foretell

Just keep it up, Dick Cheney

Keep giving 'em hell

Darren Bernard welcomes comments at dbernard@mndaily.com.