In Colbert we trust

Colbert followers have come through again.
Since the inception of the Comedy Central faux-news show The Colbert Report in October 2005, viewers have lent the name of host Stephen Colbert to a variety of objects: Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, mascot for the Michigan minor league hockey team Saginaw Spirit; Stephen Jr., a bald eagle born in the San Francisco Zoo; Aptostichus Stephencolberti, a species of trapdoor spider; and Air Colbert, a Virgin America airliner.
But this week, Colbert set his aim a little higher, shooting for the stars if you will.
Colbert, with the help of more than a quarter-million followers, took NASA by storm, wining an online contest to name a new room on the International Space Station.
The name “Colbert” beat out NASA-suggested name “Serenity” by more than 40,000 votes according to the Associated Press, along with other write-ins and suggestions.
But according to CNN.com, NASA reserves the right to “ultimately select a name in accordance with the best interests of the agency. Such name may not necessarily be one which is on the list of voted-on candidate names.”
In other words, NASA is afraid naming their hub after the ultimate alpha-male and omega Colbert.
Reports have even surfaced about naming a toilet on the station after Colbert.
NASA is not only afraid of naming something after the comedian but also wants to disgrace Big Papa’s name.
So we say man-up, NASA. Stop being pansies and give us what the people want: Colbert in space.

This editorial, accessed via UWire, was originally published in the Rocky Mountain Collegian at Colorado State University. Please send comments to letters@mndaily.com.