Beyond the Books: Balancing school with parenthood

It’s Monday afternoon and Sarah Lechowich just got off work at her work-study job as a clerical aid for the University of Minnesota Program in Physical Therapy. She had two classes today and a meeting with an adviser.

Lechowich and Gretchen eat dinner at the kitchen table while Annika attempts to feed herself in her high chair.

MARIJA MAJERLE, DAILY

For some, this might signal the end of the vital part of their day. For Lechowich, it is only the beginning of the part of her day when she can forget about books and exams and devote herself fully to being a caring mother of two.

It is quite a walk from the physical therapy building on the East Bank to her children’s daycare center about 25 minutes away.

The walk is enjoyable for Lechowich, though, who is wearing a salmon-colored spring jacket and walking with a sense of purpose.

The walk signifies her favorite part of the day. She is picking up her two girls from daycare.

The wind seems to have picked up and the direction of the daycare is directly against the gusts.

Lechowich, 32, a communications student at the University, says even though she is always happy to see her children, Gretchen, 3, and Annika, 16 months, they are not always in a hurry to leave.

“They want to play,” Lechowich says. “I represent going home.”

After arriving, she leans into the room where Gretchen is playing and lets her know that they will be leaving soon. Annika is playing in another room in a red buggy with a few others.

It’s a struggle to get Annika to leave, even though she is smiling from ear to ear.

Melanie Seivert, lead teacher in the toddler room, said Lechowich is one of several students whose children come to the daycare center.

The girls take after their mother, with light skin and brown hair. Gretchen’s comes down to her waist.

If the girls were against leaving the day care, you wouldn’t know it on the drive home.

At the request of Gretchen, Lechowich leads her in singing the ABC’s with scattered applause from Annika.

The drive lasts 10 minutes and the family arrives home in the Como neighborhood.

Preparing: 16 hours earlier

Lechowich stays up until 1:00 a.m. finishing a proposal for her History of the Holocaust class, only to wake up two-and-a-half hours later to change Annika’s diaper — a nightly occurrence. Then it’s back to bed.

Lechowich visits with her daughter Gretchen on the way home from day care.

MARIJA MAJERLE, DAILY

Her alarm goes off as it does every day at 5:45 a.m. She hits snooze twice before climbing out of bed.

After Lechowich makes coffee, Annika wakes up at 6:20 a.m., and at 6:43 a.m. she wakes up Gretchen and lets the two watch PBS.

Lechowich then finishes getting dressed, does her make-up and hair, packs her backpack and fills her coffee to-go cup.

By 7:25 a.m. everyone is dressed and with shoes, coats and hats they are out the door.

Ten minutes later she drops the girls off at daycare, kisses and waves goodbye, parks and walks to campus, as she does every day.

At 8:06 a.m. she arrives at the Student Parent HELP Center in the basement of Appleby Hall.

Lechowich is the first person there. She prints papers and checks her e-mail while drinking her first, and certainly not last, cup of coffee of the day.

School: 9:05 a.m.

Her first class of the day is Analysis of Argument . Today the class is discussing images and the arguments behind them.

Lechowich explains the meaning of “Guernica,” a Picasso painting about the Spanish Civil War, but is cut short by the end of class.

There is a 50 minute gap before History of the Holocaust starts at 10:45 a.m.

Lechowich is not always able to get her reading done because her only chance to read is at school or after her girls go to bed, so she arrives early and begins reading “Neighbors,” a book with graphic scenes about Jewish children during the Holocaust.

“I can’t read this kind of stuff at night, because I have my girls,” she says of the book’s graphic content.

Ten minutes before the start of class, she discusses the book with sociology of law, crime and deviance junior Aydrea Rickert who she usually sits next to.

“Did you start ‘Neighbors’?” Lechowich asks.

“Yes,” Rickert replies.

“I’m already disturbed,” Lechowich says.

Lechowich said it’s important for her to find a buddy in classes so when she has to miss because her girls are sick, she has someone who can fill her in.

In the past year, she has had to deal with her girls getting strep throat, ear infections and fevers. If they have a temperature higher than 100, they have to stay home from daycare.

Last semester was especially brutal because she had to take some finals without studying.

“I can’t plan on a cram night because if I plan on it, they won’t sleep, no question,” she said.

When the class starts, Lechowich hands in her proposal. Her topic, the Holocaust’s affect on children in early childhood, stemmed from her girls. As with everything in her life, they played a role in her decision.

At 12:16 p.m. she arrives back at Appleby Hall for a meeting with an adviser.

After the meeting, she goes back down the hall to the Student Parent HELP Center and eats lunch and chats with psychology senior Amanda Delaney , who is also a parent.

They talk about relationships and legal issues that parents deal with.

Lechowich said she enjoys the support and camaraderie of fellow student parents at the HELP center.

“It’s sometimes really tough. If I didn’t have support, I don’t think I would survive,” she said. “It’s nice to have people who can relate to diapers and midterms.”

Work: 1:47 p.m.

Lechowich chats with fellow student-parent Amanda Delaney at the Student Parent HELP Center.

MARIJA MAJERLE, DAILY

Her job consists of mostly busy work. She stuffs and delivers mail, alphabetizes and collates material.

She works 10 to 12 hours a week and welcomes the job, which doesn’t take much effort.

“I need that downtime, because when I go home with my girls I can’t be mindless, I can’t just go home and zone out in front of the TV,” she said. “I have to be completely, 100 percent on.”

At Home: 4:36 p.m.

Lechowich feeds Annika applesauce while Gretchen swings on a recently bought indoor swing, which lets the girls play inside during the winter, although Lechowich admits she’s used it at night when struggling with a paper.

She also admits part of the goal is to wear the girls out so she can do homework in the evening when they are asleep.

She tries to keep a balance between being a good student and a good mom.

“I end up having to give on the studying a little because I can’t give on the parenting,” she says.

She tries to be an “A” student and an “A” mom, but admits that it is very difficult, Lechowich said.

“All my attention and focus have to be with them, If I’ve had a bad day or got a crappy test score or something, I have to completely leave all that here and go home and be, like, ‘Super Mommy,’” she said.

At 4:52 p.m. the family goes to the park right outside their home. Annika is kneeled next to a slide, focused on building a sand castle, with no regard for her pink outfit.

After about 20 minutes, Lechowich unsuccessfully makes an attempt at using dinner to get the girls inside.

“Do you want to help mom make the spaghetti?” she asks.

“Sorry mom,” Gretchen says, seemingly knowing her mom’s intentions.

Annika is the first to be served in her high-chair and by the time she is joined by her mother and sister, her face is half skin, half sauce, but for all her giggling and smiling it looks like she couldn’t be happier.

Lechowich colors with her daughter Gretchen before putting her to bed. Lechowich doesn’t focus on schoolwork until her daughters are tucked in, usually around 8 p.m.

MARIJA MAJERLE, DAILY

At 6:23 p.m. Lechowich finishes doing dishes and cleaning-up and takes the girls upstairs for a bath rich with the smell of lavender.

After the bath, Annika gets a new diaper for the night and at 6:50 p.m. goes to bed.

To Lechowich’s relief Annika goes to bed easily and now it is time to entertain Gretchen.

Lechowich is visibly tired, but she lays out a large sheet of paper on the kitchen floor and draws with Gretchen.

Hands and feet are traced. At the conclusion of each, Gretchen lets out a triumphant “Ta-Da!” For the grand finale she gets her entire body traced by mom.

By 8:20 p.m. both girls are in bed, but it is not time to unwind for Lechowich.

“I have to wait ‘til they go to bed and then I still can’t have a bad day because now I gotta focus on my assignments for the next day,” she said.

She can’t fully focus on school until 9:55 p.m. because Gretchen is restless and comes back down stairs twice.

After an hour of procrastination, Lechowich calls it quits.

Upstairs Gretchen is asleep, so she sets her alarm and settles into bed at 11:30 p.m.

In roughly four hours she will change a wet diaper and repeat the cycle of a mother in a student’s life.