Dr. Date

Dr. Date-
I need your help. I feel like all my girlfriends always have a boyfriend, or at least a guy interested in them, and I never do. I don't know what the problem is. I feel like I am decent looking, I’m smart, and I am a friendly person. However, I feel like I'm always just seen as "the friend." A lot of my close friends are guys, so I know I don't have a problem acting normal around them, what do you think the problem is?
On another note, I've liked this guy for a while but it seems to be on and off with signals of "I like you" and "I don’t like you" I feel like if I forgot about him I could easily see myself with other guys, but I also feel like if I move on I might be throwing away the chance for something to EVENTUALLY happen. What do you think I should do?
Your help is much appreciated…
Men’s Best Friend

Pup,
When I opened your email — which, for the record was titled HELP! ASAP! — I figured I was being called into some epic and dire romantic rescue. Something like:
“My boyfriend wants to have a threesome with me and my sister tomorrow, but I want to back out and don’t know what to tell them, help!”
Or:
“Long story short, I just put my boyfriend in the hospital with multiple head injuries, a ruptured gall bladder and acute disc herniation after an accident involving a roll of cloth tape, a pet turtle and a card table. What should my “get well soon”card say? And I need to know ASAP, because he’s bound to regain consciousness at any moment!”
Anyway, I’m still going to help you, and gladly, but honestly, I was just a little disappointed. And don’t get down, my disappointment stems from the fact that your problem is a pretty simple one.
Like the old song says, you’re looking for love in all the wrong places. It sounds like you look for your romantic partners among people who are your friends or who fit the mold of a friend. In other words, you keep getting friended because you’re picking guy friends, not boyfriends. It’s like only going to the produce section at the grocery store and saying “why don’t they ever sell ice cream at this damn place?”
While I’m not going to try to discourage you from trying to date guys who you feel friendly with (those relationships are the most fun and long-term), if you want a date, try placing chemistry before compatibility for a while. That means that you get your flirt on a little earlier, maybe even before you start to joke around and get comfortable, if need be. As everyone knows, first impressions count, and the difference between a flirty “hey” and a friendly “hey” when you’re introducing yourself can make or break the deal.
Dr. Date

Dr. Date,
Last night, I was with this guy I've hung out with a few times. We're not close friends and we're not dating, but I wanted to get some, so I went for it. Things were getting pretty heated and we ended up having sex.
After the session, I got up and went to the bathroom, only to discover that I had my period! I freaked out, but couldn't think of a solution other than go back to bed. In the morning, neither of us said anything about it, but there's no way he could have missed the fact that his junk was bloody. I haven't talked to him since, and I don't know whether I should apologize or ignore it or what.
I'm really worried this has destroyed any chance to be friends, but what do I say to make up for the fact that I'm the reason he has earned his Red Wings?
Embarassed Cardinal

Cardinal,
High five! Way to be goal oriented. You sound like someone who knows what she wants and gets some…I mean, gets it. It’s nice to know that you are in control of yourself and willing to acknowledge your wants.
Having said that, I’m surprised by your reaction. At the beginning of your letter, you wrote, “I wanted to get some, so I went for it.” At the end you ask “whether I should apologize.” You sound like two different people, having gone from a self-assured swagger to this later note of panic.
I’ll get to my advice in a second, but first, think about this question for yourself and write the answer in the space provided below. Cardinal, do you honestly think you need to apologize? Here’s the space for you to write your answer: _______________.
Finished?
The correct answer is no, don’t apologize. I know some men think that period sex is as repulsive as Casu Marzu (if you don’t know what it is, look it up), but the fact is, I know women who feel the same way about semen, and somehow they learn to get over it. Bodily fluids are part of the deal when it comes to sex, and if they gross you out, maybe sex isn’t for you. People who are looking for a clean and dry recreational hobby ought to consider knitting.
Furthermore, sex is for both of you. It’s not like he was doing you a favor by sleeping with you. You were doing it together. Both of you should understand that, and don’t feel required to offer anything more than respect and reciprocity.
As for your other concern, whether the blood would ruin your relationship, I’m going to be blunt. If the relationship is ruined, it’s because sex ruined it, not bloody sex. Hookups leave collateral damage, and that is something that you’ll have to confront eventually. But you shouldn’t be worried that just because Aunt Flo happened to be spending the night at your place that your friendship is in any greater peril.
Dr. Date

Hey Dateopia, you’re looking sexy! Excuse me, I’m afraid I dropped something…my jaw. Anyway, now that you’re feeling relaxed, I want to talk about our good friend Network. You may have noticed that Net was the subject of an angry letter to the editor yesterday, and I just wanted to add my two cents. I also find Network offensive and degrading. Not due to anything that appeared in its “column” but because Net sucks. I think the Daily ought to remove Net from BackTalk once and for all, and I want to get a letter-writing campaign started to push that along. Send emails to letters@mndaily.com and network@mndaily.com with the subject line: “Network Sucks” and soon this will all be history.