How to spot a womanizer

Ladies, take care to heed the tell-tale warning signs your man might be a womanizer.
October 11, 2009

The saying “men are like toilets, they are either full of crap, or taken” is true. I have dated more than my fair share of men since puberty, and have since come to learn some important truths about being a single woman, trying to find prince charming. The term “womanizer” was made popular by Britney Spears when “Womanizer” debuted as the single on her most recent album “Circus.” But what is a womanizer? The term is undoubtedly negative. Said simply, a womanizer is a man looking for sex with no strings attached. That may not sound harmful (let’s face it, that is what some of us want), but the negative connotation surrounding a womanizer is that he will lie to you in order to bed you, cheat on you throughout the so-called relationship and steal your heart before you can blink an eye. While it is true that womanizers are typically well-disguised, I believe I can provide insight on how to spot these ladies' men. As I see it, while I may be exposing many of the tricks men have up their sleeves, I am saving my female comrades from almost inevitable heartbreak.
Ladies, think back to when your father would shake his finger and tell you, “Those boys only have one thing on their minds.” A 2004 ABC News Prime Time report found that 70 percent of men think about sex numerous times every day, while only 34 percent of women do, perhaps proving your father right. Men are much more likely to be driven by sex than women, which would explain the number of womanizers among us.
The womanizer is the man incapable of monogamy. His ego is larger than Utah, but his feelings for you are closer to Climax, Minn. Some chauvinist pigs even proclaim their womanizer status, as if it were something to be proud of. On Jan. 13, Tyra Banks aired an episode dedicated to womanizers on “The Tyra Banks Show.” The womanizer presented, Ahmed, had unapologetically slept with 80-100 different women. While he was supposedly upfront with these women, Tyra made it clear that other womanizers are not so honest.
The womanizer who disguises himself as a gentleman is the type with the very worst intentions. He wants your body, not your heart, yet you’ll never know. He dazzles you with techniques that leave tingles in your toes and butterflies in your stomach, and you inevitably feel special because the man — notoriously single — wants you. Don’t let those feelings fool you; that is what he wants. It is time we rip of the masks of those men who want to break our hearts.
There are a few quick adjectives that should fire warning signs in your brain when meeting a potential womanizer: charming, powerful, mysterious and attentive are at the top of the list. There is also a whole list of synonyms for a womanizer on, including: playboy, lady-killer, Casanova and seducer. Yet simple lists of adjectives describing a womanizer are not sufficient enough to cue you in about his sincerity. We need some models. If you think you have just been introduced to a womanizer, there are a few surefire ways to tell that he isn’t what he seems. has composed a list of different types of womanizers. I, personally, take delight in the so-called “alpha male.” No matter what, the alpha male puts himself in positions to be worshiped by his male counterparts, so what would make you think he doesn’t want the same treatment from you? He sees himself as the king of kings, but he won’t treat you like a queen.
And if this man fits the stereotype of a Guido, run. According to Harper Collins’ “Beginner’s Italian Diction,” “guido” is derived from the Italian verb “guidare,” which means “to drive,” and it’s the very display of driving command or force that can tip you off. ‘Guido’ is being used in our culture to describe a man who gels his hair, tans too much and is always wearing Crest White Strips. If his swagger appears too cocky, think twice before approaching: His bite is worse than his bark. And know there is a fine line between cocky and confident; while it is acceptable for a man to walk that line, crossing it may be a sign that he will want to want to date many women at once.
If you think you are currently dating a womanizer (casually or seriously) and are figuring all this out a tad late, you can still escape; the quicksand is never too quick. While the following is a personal belief of mine, agrees that he is probably cheating if he uses pet names like “sweetie” or “pumpkin” too much; he is trying not to get your name mixed up with the other women he is playing. Keep in mind, not all men who use pet names have bad intentions — this tip is to be used at your discretion.
Womanizers in a committed relationship will also be extraordinarily protective of their phones. Even if you aren’t asking to snoop, if he is purposefully shielding his texts, there is a reason. Also, a man that won’t bring you home to meet his mother is avoiding the couple label. The most important woman in a single man’s life is his mother (usually). If he doesn’t think you’ll live up to her standards, he’ll wait around for someone who will … while sleeping at your house night after night.
But the one thing all womanizers have in common is vanity. They are vain enough to believe it is acceptable for them to toy with women because they are well-groomed, attractive individuals (usually). Overall, trust your gut. A women’s intuition is usually fairly accurate.
It is unfair that men are getting away with this behavior so frequently. If lying, cheating and stealing are considered unethical, then why does the dating world so often consider the womanizer ethical? A word to wise women: We’re the ones with vaginas; we are in control. Don’t fall prey to the petty tricks of a womanizer. You still can’t change a man who doesn’t want to be changed.

Paige Vigil welcomes comments at

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