Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,
I wanted to comment on one of the Monday’s submissions. There was a girl who didn't like her boyfriend smoking all the time. You had said at the very last line, “Or, you could always just take up smoking.” I am very offended by it.
First of all, smoking is a horrible habit that no one should ever start, and in this day and age, with all the statistics and health problems, it's curious why anyone would. The addiction to nicotine is horrible. There are over 4,000 chemicals in ONE CIGARETTE. Also, why would you want to smoke at all? In the winter, you get to the point where you have to go outside in the freezing cold just to smoke. Even in the summer, going outside is a pain.
Even if you don't care about your own health, secondhand smoke is just as bad! People die from lung or gum cancer from smoking. So, while I am sure you were just being sarcastic, I do not believe smoking, or telling someone to smoke, is a laughing matter.
—UMN Students: DO NOT SMOKE!

Dear Smokey,
Wait, wait, wait. If you’re so averse to smoking, what do you do after sex?
Oh wait, you’re so insufferably preachy that no man/woman would ever touch you.
We’ll all smoke to that!
P.S. Going outside in the summer is a pain? You have deeper issues than the one I’m mocking.
—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,
Christmas time is the most wonderful time of the year, but it really sucks to be single. Every Christmas song seems to be about being in love or asking Santa to bring someone special to put under the tree.
When I walk to class, all I see are bundled up couples holding hands. It's cute and all, but do you have any survival tips for the singles out there to get through this “couples” season?
I'm fine being single because I have a great group of friends and a busy social calendar, but when everything is in your face saying you need to be in love on Christmas, it makes me a little bitter.
—All I Want for Christmas is to Avoid Singles Blues

Blues,
This letter is a bit personal to ol’ Dr. Date. You see, before I got my advanced degree in Romanceolgy from Sexmore University, I learned a great deal from my pa.
Pa Date had a standby piece of advice that kept him warm on many a cold, blustery X-Mas: prostitutes — and lots of ‘em!
It’s a conceptually ingenious process. Basically, you pay individuals — you can generally find them on Lake Street — and they have sex with you. For money!
All the finesse and hidden expenses of dating a non-prostitute are thrown out the window. They want money. You want sex. Everyone has a merry X-Mas.
Hope that helped! Ho ho ho! *WINK*
—Dr. Date

Dr. Date,
I used to share White Headphones' dilemma, but no more! You see, it occurred to me one day that these headphone-wearing lasses so interested in blocking out the world and the people around them just weren't worth it.
When you have a choice between someone willing to engage with those around them and someone visibly working to ignore all things real, choose the former. If you don't have a choice, try taking your own headphones off.
—Boo Headphones!

Boo,
The reader is referencing a recent letter in which the writer was discouraged that a girl he fancied would always put on her headphones before he could chat with her.
This response raises a valid concern over an increasingly escapist society. Are we turning inward too frequently and ignoring our surroundings? Have technological advances surged forward at the expense of interpersonal relations?
The ramifications of this trend will have pronounced effects on the dating realm. How can potential suitors voice their interest in a society that values consumer electronics and isolationism over real, honest contact? Will social networking fill the void? Perhaps, but the risks to face-to-face contact are very real.
Thank you for your insightful views. I’ll allow the readers to form their own opinions on this nuanced and increasingly relevant issue. Maybe the University population at large is sacrificing opportunities to meet potential sweeties because our iPods aren’t USpods!
—Dr. Date