Dr. Date

March 03, 2010

Dear Dr. Date,
I am wondering if you could provide me with some ideas for what I can do when I’m spending time with my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for three months, but we usually only get to see each other at night after I’m out of class and he is out of work, which can be 8 p.m. some nights.
I’m not 21 yet, so we can’t grab a beer and talk about our day, so we usually spend our time watching Scrubs or eating a late dinner, then head home or head to bed. Do you have any unique or fun ideas? Thanks!
—Late-Night Date-Night

Late Night,
When JD starts feeling like the third wheel in your relationship, it’s time to get out of the house and start doing things. What you do really depends on your budget, but since you’re a college student I’ll just assume your preferred budget is pocket change.
The ACME Comedy Club has open mic night on Mondays, which are free of charge and start at 8:00 p.m. The rest of the week they host professional comedians that they charge for. The Varsity Theater in Dinkytown has a lot of cool shows going on each week and is always worth a glance.
Talk with your guy and try to look online for events you both want to go to. As always, A&E hooks you up with the 411 for activities going on throughout the city. Check out their section today!
—Dr. Date

Heeyyyyy Dr. Date,
I am back with another question for you. So, I was pleasing a lady downstairs with my mouth-hole when her tush let out a little, squeaky “hello” … if you know what I mean, and well, that got me thinking.
Dr. D, do you have any advice for how I can bring up to my girlfriend that I would like to use my mouth-hole on her brown-eye? If you know what I mean. I wonder how it would make her feel to have a wet mouth-serpent carousing around her smelly nether-regions. Honestly, I would be down with a little reciprocal action, if you know what I mean. So, I know it is disgusting by society’s standards, but I’ve seen it in the movies and want to experience it in my life.
—Poopin’ for a Livin’

You know a question is getting good when it opens with a long “heeeeeyyyyy” and includes “if you know what I mean” as many times as possible.
If you really want to stick your tongue where the sun doesn’t shine, here’s how I would go about it. The next time you’re working your magic down in the pink region, slowly start kissing and licking your way to the stink area. If your girl tenses up and smacks your head away, you’re out of luck. If she lets out a little coo, you’re good to start pressing in.
The key is to go slow and make sure she wants that. On the reciprocity part, unfortunately this is not mathematics. Just because you do that for her, doesn’t mean she will want to do that for you. You might end up with a Miranda girl who offers you a back rub afterwards. Don’t be offended by her passive way of saying she doesn’t want to return the favor. Not everyone in this world is into that.
—Dr. Date

Hey Doc,
I have a dilemma. I’m very attracted to a friend with whom I go out with every once in a while for drinks, etc. at our local drinking establishment.
We have great conversations and many of the same interests, we seem to agree on just about everything and have a lot of fun together. Not to mention, she is gorgeous. That being said, we have one major disagreement.
See, I’m a Republican and she is a Democrat, and we both aren’t too close to center. This has been a problem for me in the past as well, as my political aspirations have caused a two-year relationship to unravel in early 2009. The thing is, we usually have great conversations about politics as well, but we just have fundamental differences in our beliefs. I’ve actually only dated one Republican in my life, the rest have been Democrats, so for me politics usually don’t come into my consideration when going into a relationship.
However, after the long-term break up last year, I’ve become wary of making that decision again. So my question here is two-fold: Is it (in your experience) possible for Republicans and Democrats to have a successful relationship? If so, how could I go about convincing that beautiful donkey to give this tall, handsome elephant a chance?
—GOP’er seeking a DFL’er

Right for Left,
Of course it is possible for Republicans and Democrats to have a successful relationship, as long as both parties are willing to work with each other.
With that being said, I would like to highlight a key point you made: “We just have fundamental differences in our beliefs.”
That’s a pretty bold statement that indicates a serious relationship might not work. However, this is all a moot point if she isn’t interested in dating you at all. You say you two have fun together and you are attracted to her, what else do you need for right now? See if she’s interested and take it from there. If you can make a relationship work with her, you will. If you can’t, you’ll at least say that you didn’t pull a filibuster on the possibilities with her.

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