Possibly because most of A&E has such a burning love and blistering desire for the lovely and talented Ms. Robyne Robinson, FOX9 anchor, art enthusiast and designer of Rox jewelry, we couldn’t imagine asking anyone else to step in for ol’ Dr. Date. She might have blushed a bit, but Robyne’s got a good heart and even better advice to share.
Dear Dr. Date,
Here’s my problem: I have been single for about four years. I have gone out on numerous dates with quality guys throughout college, and I find that I cannot commit to a relationship. Whenever I commit to being in an exclusive relationship, I never make it past five weeks, because at that point I end up finding something wrong with the guy. People keep telling me that I just haven’t found the “right” guy. I think I am too afraid to “let a guy in” and have conditioned myself to not do committed dating relationships. I truly do want to commit to a relationship and not break any more guys’ hearts, but I’m not sure how to get past this. Got any insight or advice? How do you “uncondition” yourself?
—Conditioned Not to Commit
I’m not a shrink, but I get the feeling you’ve seen some love dysfunction around you in your past that’s got you a bit skittish on commitment. We don’t always know it, but sometimes our parents’ crazy love can really mess us up. My advice: Just breathe, girl. Let the next relationship just flow. When you feel yourself getting ready to bolt, you have to be up front with the guy and tell him this is your M.O., but that you’re trying to break it, so please help out by understanding. You’ll get brownie points from said dude because he’ll feel needed, and nothing strokes a guy’s ego more than being needed. Still, preserve a small portion of your heart for yourself, because you should never allow yourself to be completely wrecked by love.
Dear Dr. Date,
I would be the first to admit that I am not too experienced when it comes to men. That being said, I did have a fling this winter with a guy who was a few years older than me and more experienced. We had fun together and fooled around a little bit. At one point, he decided to take his tongue downstairs, yet I felt nothing. And I mean NOTHING. Not when using his hands or his mouth. I’m assuming he knew what he was doing, and I can’t help but feel it might have had something to do with the fact that I was slightly intoxicated. Is there such a thing as “whiskey dick” for women? Should I be worried that I couldn’t be pleasured in that way? I’m a little worried for my sake, so any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.
—Numb and Hating It
You met a guy who actually likes “giving oral pleasure” without being asked, and you let him get away?! There are many of your fellow co-eds shaking their heads in disbelief right now. Now, you do admit to a few things: inexperience and inebriation. Both could play significant roles in this failed fling, and I’m not talking about just you. Every woman’s body is different. It could be as simple as dude was pushing the wrong buttons and poorly. Don’t worry. Sometimes it takes a few sessions for women to experience what makes the bells and whistles go off. And when they do ... honey, you’ll know. And probably everyone else in the dorm will, too.
Dear Dr. Date,
I was harboring some feelings for a classroom buddy all semester. We had fun, short conversations. I never really took the opportunity to hang out with him outside of class just to get to know him better, which was my fault. However, after all these weeks, I found out he has a girlfriend, because he mentioned her offhand! Fair enough; we were not meant to be. My question is: How do you ask politely if someone is single? I am not going to lie — I did some Facebook stalking. He didn’t list his relationship status, but it didn’t seem there was a girl in his life either, according to profile pictures and wall posts. Apparently they are a private couple. I feel that since the advent of Facebook, it’s easier to tell about relationships. I just don’t know how to ask these kinds of questions anymore. Advice?
Slightly Scary Girl,
No, I’m just joking. But stop admitting to Facebook stalking! Thank goodness for Facebook. I had a similar situation where a gorgeous Greek man started calling and wanted to “rap,” as the old folks say. Luckily, I looked at his photos and found his wedding album! But back to your problem. Keep your radar up. A guy is NEVER gonna come out and admit he’s single when you could be a possible booty call on the way home to the little missus. He’s feeling you out as much as you are him ... “Is she? Will she?” So my best advice is, next time just straight out ask as you get to know each other. Not to make you feel bad, but you should’ve hung out with him more before you got all hot and bothered. Then you wouldn’t have invested any emotional curiosity. Just one thing more: Asking DOESN’T mean he’s gonna tell you the truth. Especially when a guy wants booty. So read the signals before diving in head first.
Dear Dr. Date,
I am a 23-year-old woman working on my undergraduate degree here at the U. I am behind in school due to my military commitment. I try to participate in campus life and meet new people, but I have a hard time meeting men my age or older, much less one I would date or who would want to date me. I am reasonably attractive — not what you typically think of when you hear “military girl.” I have gained some weight since leaving the military, but I am on my way (slowly) back to my normal weight. I have tried just about everything and still have had no luck finding a guy. I don’t know if it is a confidence issue because of the weight, or maybe it’s feeling different because I have life experience beyond my years. It may have something to do with the fact that people tell me my face (when I am making no facial expressions) makes me look “bitchy” or “pissed off.” I don’t really know how to change my face, though! Any advice on how to meet a good guy?
I hate to say it, but I think the best guys you’ve met are out being all they can be, an army of one, the few and the proud — know what I’m saying? I like a man who’s disciplined, who respects women and can bench press a Humvee . You won’t find that on campus. It’s a fact that you’ve done something amazing by defending our country, so there’s not gonna be a lot that fazes you. Believe me, it’s not gonna be some guy doing beer bongs at a frat house. Sorry, greeks! Take some salsa classes. Join a co-ed adult sports league, a cooking class or a cycling club. But don’t look on campus. You’ve outgrown it. And don’t worry about facial expressions; people tell me all the time I look bitchy. They’re just scared to approach you. A good man won’t be. Dismissed.
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