From milkshakes to cherry pies

Rock ‘n’ roll, along with its close cousin hip-hop, has always been a musical genre that’s inextricably linked to knocking boots. Hell, the name itself is a euphemism for doin’ the deed, taken from early 20th century black slang. Rock’s contribution to the sexual lexicon is unquestionable. Why, if it weren’t for rock, we may never have associated food and genitalia, and that would be a tragedy.
Here are the top 15 rock and rap songs for all the infantile lovers of in’n’out innuendo.
15. “Cherry Pie” – Warrant
Warrant represents the height of trashy hair metal, but we’re forever indebted to their puerile dessert analogy.
14. “Milkshake” – Kelis
Apparently it brings all the boys to the yard. But what exactly is a milkshake? Kelis claims it’s whatever attribute a woman uses to lure in the Y-chromosomes, but most of us would guess it refers to blowies.
13. “Knocking at Your Back Door” – Deep Purple
An ode to rear entry, the boys in Deep Purple just want to put their purple in deep.
12. “Lollipop” – Lil’ Wayne
He may be one of the best rappers on Earth, but he’s not above middle school innuendo. Hopefully he doesn’t have to taste any lollipops while he’s in prison; his teeth are bad enough as is.
11. “Sugalumps” – Flight of the Conchords
Bret and Jemaine may be the first bards in history to write a song strictly about their testicles, comparing their respective pairs to both cannonballs and after-dinner mints.
10. “I Wanna Be Your Dog” – The Stooges
A proto-punk classic, canine loyalty easily translates to masochistic sex.
9. “Lick My Love Pump” – Spinal Tap
The first part of Nigel Tufnel’s musical trilogy, “Lick My Love Pump” isn’t the subtlest euphemism in the world, but it’s sly because it’s written in D Minor — a chord that makes people weep instantly.
8. “My Doorbell” – The White Stripes
Many a red-blooded man has been caught in this predicament. He’s been ever so patient, but Jack White’s getting tired of waiting for a woman to ring his doorbell.
7. “I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl” – Nina Simone
This jazz darling exuded plenty of class through her music, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t get horny. If only some candy man had come along and put a little sugar in her bowl.
6. “Terraplane Blues” – Robert Johnson
This devilish blues song is an invaluable artifact for scholars of the debauched as it’s one of the first in a long line of songs to compare a sexy lady to an automobile. (Successors: “Bang A Gong (Get It On)” – T. Rex , “Jungle Love” – The Time , “You Shook Me All Night Long” – AC/DC, “Little Red Corvette” – Prince)
5. “My Ding A Ling” – Chuck Berry
Chuck Berry has always been one of the baddest cats around, but “My Ding A Ling” shows that he also has a sense of humor. “I wanna play with my ding a ling,” he sings, referring, of course, to a little toy he got when he was a boy.
4. “Tutti Frutti” – Little Richard
Those in their autumn years love “Tutti Frutti.” Why, it’s a golden oldie! But the original lyrics went, “Tutti frutti, good booty/If it don’t fit, don’t force it/you can grease it, make it easy,” which makes it pretty clear this song’s about well-lubricated anal sex.
3. “The Lemon Song” – Led Zeppelin
“Squeeze me, baby/until the juice runs down my leg/the way you squeeze my lemon/I'm gonna fall right out of bed.” Kudos to anyone who can hear that without blushing.
2. “Sledgehammer” – Peter Gabriel
Among the euphemisms Peter Gabriel brazenly uses for his penis are a steam train, a big dipper and, boldest of all, a sledgehammer. Putting on pants must be uncomfortable.
1. “Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo” – Bloodhound Gang
F.U.C.K. is a strong candidate for euphemistic champion of the universe, not because it’s a good song but because of the sheer number of sexual turns-of-phrase. “Vulcanize the whoopee stick/in the ham wallet,” “cattle prod the oyster ditch/with the lap rocket” and “Marinate the nether rod/in the squish mitten” are but a few of the ridiculously raunchy lines that fill this Bloodhound Gang opus.