The Fashionista is in - Walk of Shame Survival Guide

Last weekend was Spring Jam, wasn’t it? I’d completely forgotten until I happened to notice more than a few hot messes stumbling home on Sunday morning from whatever salacious activities they had gotten up to the night before. There are some telltale walk of shame signs: messed-up hair, smudged makeup and that hungover stumble in last night’s heels.
But I totally understand, ladies. I’ve been there. It’s a lot easier for dudes who can just splash some water on their faces, run a hand through their hair and go. When you’re on the verge of throwing up all of that Smirnoff and en route back to bed, the last thing you want to think about is what you look like. But remember, there are a couple churches down University Avenue and the last thing you want is to be the recipient of a snooty gaze from some old lady.
When it comes to the Sunday morning walk of shame, here’s my sartorial advice:
Pack a few things the night before you go out, just in case. A ponytail binder is helpful and takes up zero space in your bag. A travel-size mascara is just as tiny and just as necessary to make you look alive the next morning. If you think you’re going to be hooking up and having a sleepover, plan for it with your outfit. Wear a cardigan or jacket so you can cover up that skanky skirt the next morning.
Wash your face! You may be tempted to sleep in your makeup and keep it on the whole day afterward as you struggle through a hangover, but don’t. Believe me, or believe these three little zits that just popped up because I made the same mistake.
Tie up your hair. The rat’s nest of curls and hairspray is a dead giveaway that you didn’t spend the night at your place. Put it in a low bun near the nape of your neck for instant chic. Ladies, those super-high “crunk buns” I see every day on campus have got to go. You know what I’m talking about: all that hair piled on the very top your head with one of those stretchy workout hairbands around it. What’s the allure of looking like a Who? Chignons, please.
Freshen up your face. Pinch your cheeks, put on a little mascara and if you’re lipstick-less, bite your lips to give them some color. When I’m hungover and wearing minimal makeup, I do a swipe of bright red lipstick to wake up my haggard face. It works; people are too busy staring at the stop sign of my mouth to notice that I look like a drowned rat.
Tweak your wardrobe. I know firsthand that it’s no fun to schlep home in a minidress. If he’s nice, the guy you spent the night with will lend you a T-shirt or a button down oxford. This is particularly helpful if you belted your going-out ensemble. Just cinch that oxford over your mini. In an episode of “Sex and the City,” Carrie uses one of Big’s dress shirts as a belted minidress; unless you have legs like SJP, don’t try that at home, but the idea’s the same.
The shoes you wore out can’t be helped, but please, don’t make a show of how uncomfortable you are. Just walk home. The rest of us are laughing at you from our cars.
Other tried-and-true hangover cures: Drink a lot of water, but if you can’t even stomach that, I’ve found that a giant fountain Coke (real Coke, not diet) helps a lot. Never forget the power of Excedrin.
And now, my favorite part about Fashionista-ing: answering your questions!
I love your section in the Daily and read it every Tuesday! I've been contemplating the purchase of a pair of saddles shoes from Urban Outfitters. The only problem is that I'm not sure what I would wear them with. I'm hoping you can help a loyal fan out and give me some advice?

Thanks,
Alyssa

Hi Alyssa-
I love saddle shoes. I wore them when I was little and I would totally wear them now. You can wear them with tons of things: skinny jeans cuffed ’50s style, pencil skirts or full skirts, dresses ... the possibilities are endless. Treat them like a regular pair of flats and definitely get them! Thanks for reading!