Dr. Date

Yo Love Doctor,
I want to know what the big
deal is with people thinking that meeting an interesting, attractive and sexy person means you either get in and get
out or beat around the bush incessantly. It seems to me that people enjoy overcomplicating, hyper-analyzing and being general pains in the ass.
So I like this fellow. We have great initial chemistry — sexually — but there’s also a comfortability I feel in his presence that I haven’t felt in awhile. I set up a day date — an afternoon delight — and he
cancels on me in a somewhat cold fashion. I am at the point in my life where I simply cannot stoop to waiting for a gratifying response from a prospective beau … but damnit, I want him.
So do I write him off?
Have wanton sex with lovers I don’t have to love? Establish myself as a carefree poster child of party nights, flirt with oncoming traffic on street corners, catching glimpses with the smirk on my lips? Or do I
take the initiative and tell this daft punk that I want him in my bed
stat, and that he ought to stay the night?
—Tormented Soul

Tormented,
I would certainly hope that you don’t have to become obscenely self-destructive just because you’re dismissing a possible “beau.” Although wheelbarrow sex with strangers and kissing cars as they zoom past is fun, you’re likely to end up with a burning sensation in more than one place. Did this guy explain his reasoning for leaving you in the dust when you had planned to have sky rockets in flight? If he was really that interesting and attractive, give him another shot. If he blows it again, leave him to kiss cars as they wiz by. You’ll find someone else, and you won’t have to bang dozens of strangers to do it.
—DD

Dear Doctor,
This is my first time writing in to you, but I am in dire need of some advice. I recently received a message on Facebook from one of my girlfriend's friends with benefits from a few years ago (about a month before she started dating me) that included a conversation between him and my girlfriend from a few weeks ago. We have been together now almost two years, and all-in-all the conversation consisted of them planning a camping trip together while I would be out of town.
Here is the catch: She said she was going to tell me that she was going to be going on that trip with her friend and not me. I have had problems with her hanging out with this guy before, but I would have had no choice but to allow it because I did not want to look like the jealous type.
I confronted her about it, and she at first said that I was spying on her and did not believe that her friend had sent me that conversation. She did not deny what I had read but told me that it was nothing, and that I was blowing the whole ordeal out of proportion. What should I do, doctor? She is still going to proceed on this trip without me whether I like it or not (as I will be out of town). Can I trust her with this?
—What am I to do? :(

Sad-face,
It’s times like these I wish I was a baker like the oracle. You’re probably going to need a cookie, but unlike Neo, it’s doubtful that you’ll feel right as rain when you’re done eating it. Camping with a group of people is one thing, but camping with one other person is completely different. They will be alone at a campsite in the woods with not much to do and most likely sharing a tent. You’re definitely not blowing this out of proportion.
The fact that she attacked you for spying puts even more blood on her hands. I hate to say it, but it might be time for you to leave this cold-hearted chick where she belongs: the woods.
—DD

Hey Dr. Date,
I was super excited when I learned that the Daily and your column continue during the summer session. However, my mood was dampened a little when I saw the usual ‘I'm a great guy looking for a great girl, where the hell are they?!’ letters.
Seriously? With high-achieving females beating out males for coveted admissions spots, it's basically a buffet for the men of the U of M campus. It's so annoying to see letter after letter about how tough it is to find a suitable mate at our three-campus, 40,000 student University. In 2008, according to the U's website, the undergraduate population was 47 percent male, 53 percent female, and it's probably safe to assume that the stats are pretty similar today. I think it's time for a little honesty and for the guys to admit 'It's not them, it's me'.
What can a lonely guy do to find someone to snuggle with in time to fight off the winter chill? Here’s my guide:
First, leave the iPod at home when walking to class. It will make you more aware of your surroundings, more specifically who you are surrounded by. Unless you're totally into the vapid party girl type, don't go to bars and parties expecting to find your soul mate.
Second, join clubs, become involved on campus and plan on making new friends and actually talking to people you don't know while you’re there!
Finally, lower standards. You may not wind up with a Megan Fox look-alike, and it is possible that the high school ex will mock you (she'll find something wrong with each of her successors...), but it is very likely that you'll discover a cute girl who has a personality.
Face it: the Freshman 15 doesn't discriminate, and sometimes the walk to the rec is just a little too far. Hopefully this will FINALLY sink in with the single Gopher men. I can assure each and every one of them that there are indeed pretty, smart, single girls roaming around campus wondering why that cute boy from class/student group/work just won't take the bait! So can we now please go back to the juicy columns from a few semesters ago?
—Tall. Blond. Smart. Single.

TBSS,
Amen, sister. Let’s get back to the hobbit fetishes and the rest of the freaky stuff that happens when Gophers see moonlight. Unleash the freak within, Dateopia!
—DD