Dr. Date

Dateopia,
I fear our summer together is drawing to an end. Hopefully your romantic life has been as steamy as this hot-as-balls summer. With every ending is a new beginning, and so we trudge forth to the start of a new academic year.
Of course that means freshmen.
Some will rejoice over the prospect of seeing new faces on campus, others will weep over their inability to adequately get out of your way. This also means that we are standing in front of a 10,000 foot wave of “I saw this cute girl/guy, how do I ask them out?” It’s up to you old farts to excite your dear, old Dr. Date with sultry questions and situations that pique my curiosity. Without you, I fear I may wither away and join the dark, decrepit pile of goo that Network has become. The thought alone keeps me up at night. Help me help you, Dateopia!
—Dr. Date

Dr Date,
I dated this guy for about three or four months, but now we’re broken up and haven't contacted each another since it happened. Recently, one of his friends seems to be flirting with me and constantly asks to come over and watch a movie or to hang out.
I know that in both Man and Woman Code you should NEVER do that, and I know exactly what he wants ... and did I mention that my ex wants to pledge the same fraternity as the guy who has started to flirt with me?
I am not looking for a relationship AT ALL. I am honestly just up for a secretive “friends with benefits” situation so there is no drama involved. Do you have any suggestions Dr. Date, because I am going to be a junior this fall and I do not want to come off as a slutty immature upperclassman, because trust me, I was like that when I first entered “college-bound”-hood and I do not wish to have that image again.
—Tug of War Girl

Tug Girl,
Personally, I tend to shy away from calling anyone a slut or whore. If you like getting freak-ay, who cares? As long as it doesn’t negatively impact other areas of your life.
That being said, it is very unlikely that there won’t be drama if you start hooking up with your ex-boyfriend’s friend. It will be extremely difficult to keep your boy-toy a secret once your ex pledges to the same fraternity. My advice is to find someone else and avoid this Bermuda triangle. I know it’s extremely difficult to find a guy who wants to do a “secretive friends with benefit thing” — EXTREME SARCASM — but I think you might just be able to find a better ringer for your sexual requirements.
Hooking up with this guy will most likely lead to drama and headaches. Also, this guy isn’t going to be trying to impress you in the bedroom. He’s probably going to be a fall asleep immediately after he finishes and leave you unsatisfied kind of bro.
—Dr. Date

Message for Dr. Date:
withdrawal symptoms abilify.
—Anonymous

Message for Dr. Date:
Social abilify.
—Anonymous

Messages for me,
Normally I’m not a fan of responding to spam messages, but I think I should clarify something to all of you spammers: I’m a love-doctor, not a prescribing physician.
—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,
It is pretty well-accepted around the world that a guy should marry someone who is four to eight years younger than he is. Would you agree that it could be a difficult for a relationship to be successful if it were vice-versa, due to educational aspirations of both people and the timing of biological clocks?
In my opinion age is something that should be disclosed right away when people meet so that one does not think the person is the same age or slightly younger as the other person, rather than four years older.
My gal is a wonderful gal and has many attributes that will allow her to get any guy she wants, and she is not bound by any circumstances because certainly nobody has asked for her hand in marriage to this point (although many men would love to marry someone like herself).
She should know people love her very much and would like to see her be happy everyday and wear that great smile of hers.
Age certainly is not a deal breaker, but it is something to think about.
What might be your opinion on this?
On a side note, she should also know that people who care about her have never cheated on her or even so much as touched another woman since they have met, as hard to believe as that may seem. Some people flirt a little and give out compliments, but that’s as far as that goes.
It’s pretty easy when loyalty is their number one value, so she should never shed a tear for fear of cheating.
—Something to Think About?

Something to Question,
Okay, you lost me at it is well accepted that a guy should marry someone who is four to eight years younger than he is. That’s not popping up on my radar, and most of the rest of your letter also bounces off my detector. If this girl is four years older than you and looks like she’s your age or younger, why is that a problem? My advice would be to stop thinking about what’s accepted in the world and start thinking about what you want. I’m not really sure what else to do with you, so good day sir! I said good day!
—Dr. Date