Overheard Around Campus

Girl 1: "What are you doing?"

Girl 2: "Going to the bathroom, if that’s OK with you."

Girl 1: "But you always take like 5 billion vagina years!"

—Campus Connector

"I accidentally asked someone to 69 today."

—Sanford Hall

Professor: "And that’s why I’m not going to try heroin, because what if I like it?"

—Location unknown

"Jack Frost just raped me!"

—Centennial Hall

"A team of samurais come in, led by Tom Cruise, and they just wreck everybody."

—Bailey Hall

"Of course you can tell it’s a body! What else would be hanging from a tree like that?"

—Middlebrook Hall

Girl (on cell phone): "Can I go to space camp this summer? … Age limit? What about adult space camp?!"

—Location unknown

"Do you like to be penetrated?"

—Territorial Hall

Professor: "You shouldn’t be throwing out the baby with the bath water, but rather look into the bath water and understand it, and use what is in there accordingly … maybe that’s not such a good analogy."

—Rapson Hall

Professor 1: "Are you on? Are you turned on?"

Professor 2: "Am I turned on? You’re
going to ask me another question like that?"

—Location unknown

"I’m just going around impregnating
everybody."

—Middlebrook Hall

"See, the goal of that test is to score as high as possible."

—Campus Connector

Guy 1: "Chivalry is not dead, my friend."

Guy 2: "Who’s Chivalry?"

—Coffman Union