Overheard Around Campus

"God, I look like a baby prostitute."

—Bailey Hall

Guy 1: "Miley Cyrus gives me a reverse boner."

Guy 2: "Miley Cyrus is my personal
purgatory."

—Marcy Park Apartments

"So I cut my losses and moved to South Africa."

—Centennial Hall

"I could totally make a fortune off the greek system black market."

—Applebee’s

Professor: "What are those guys with the man purses? METROSEXUALS! …
Sorry, just thinking about sex on the metro."

—Carlson School of Management

"I don’t believe in killing; it’s against the law."

—Sanford Hall

"Guys have EYELASHES?"

—Comstock Hall

"They have more than enough dead babies."

—Coffman Union

Girl: "You were normal when we first started dating!"

Guy: "Well, that’s when I was still doing drugs ..."

—University Avenue

Girl: "Can’t say I’ve ever slept on a table."

Guy: "I can!"

—Sanford Hall

"It was hard to swallow with so much meat in my mouth, especially with everyone chanting, ‘Swallow! Swallow!’"

—Microbiology class

"He has a good ratio of douche-to-cute."

—Marcy Holmes

"It’s not that bad being drunk on the bus. I’ve done it plenty of times."

—Coffman Union