Backtalk

February 03, 2011

Dear Dr. Date,


I will put this simply: I have a thing for guys with afros. There is just something about their curly locks of love that stick out in all directions. The other day I saw a guy who looked like Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons and I about orgasmed on the spot. How do I go about finding me a guy with such a quality? Should I put out "Afro Wanted" posters?


—Afrodisiac


 


Boogy Down,


Print those posters out and start making the rounds. First check out the Black Student Union. Your second stop should be the Hillel. After that, start taping those babies up in random spots around West Bank and work your way inward.


—Dr. Date


 


Dear Dr. Date,


I’m a woman and I’ve been attracted to women ever since I can remember, but I have never gone all the way with one.


So why not give it a try, you might wonder?


Well, I met the love of my life when I was 14 and we have been together five years now. The catch: he’s a man.


Though I’m not attracted at all to other men, he "had me at hello." He’s my soulmate and the sweetest, most open and honest person I will ever know (and we do have great sex). He helped me realize that my feelings for women do not make me gross or broken.


Though he has always supported me, he has recently encouraged me to explore "opportunities to better know myself" or — in less polite words — to be physically intimate with a woman.


Maintaining a healthy relationship with him is a top priority, yet so is discovering my true self. I grew up believing that infidelity is never justified. But is it infidelity if it is a fully disclosed, mutually accepted venture?


—Curious


 


Curious,


First of all, I never welcome Jerry Maguire references. Ever. Second of all, be warned that if you go through with this, it’s very possible that your relationship with Mr. Right will go wrong. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.


If you’ve got this "maybe" in your mind all of the time, you’re never going to be able to fully enjoy your relationship. That being said, if you’re too attached to your relationship, you’re not going to enjoy your experiment.


Your boyfriend (who is either surprisingly mature or hoping for a threesome) is right to give you your space. But just as you wouldn’t get together with any guy, you’ve got to be picky with your women as well.


Make sure this lucky lady is right for you before you jump into an experiment. Be open with her, and be willing to experiment. After it happens, make sure you reflect on how you feel, and make sure that it’s not guilt.


If you do end up realizing that you are attracted to women, don’t be afraid to put distance between you and your boyfriend. If you find out you’re fine as a straight woman, tell him how much you appreciate your freedom with an explosive lovemaking session.


—Dr. Date


 


Dear Dr. Date,


Meh, wazzup, Doc? So I have this issue: I was a part of the marching band in the fall and there was this guy, right? Perfect form, one shoulder bigger than the other, strong and talented, and I was 73.4 percent sure he was into me, too! Alas, now marching season is over and he’s not even in a pep band. I would love to blow his horn but it seems like it’s been put away for the winter. How could I reconnect with him without making my intentions too
obvious?


—Trills for Thrills


 


Dear Triller,


You’re going to have to do a bit of Holmesian sleuthing on your own, so grab your pipe and slip into a fine tweed jacket. First, try to set up a chance run-in with this music man. Do you know where he likes to hang out — bars, coffee shops, classroom buildings? Use that knowledge to just bump into him somewhere around campus, then suggest that the two of you get together sometime. The seeds will be planted, but you’ll still have to dig. Very simple.


Don’t know even that much? Then you’ll really have to go Sherlock on this. Troll Facebook to dig up anything you can find — employment, hometown, maybe even an interests page. Then it’ll take just a bit of old-fashioned detective work to piece that together with whatever else you might know about him.


Just remember that you should make it seem as organic as possible. If you text or e-mail him out of the blue, he’ll suspect something is up. Your effort might impress some guys, but it’s borderline stalkerish — it might not be as charming as it seems.


—Dr. Date

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