Overheard around campus

Guy: "What’s your major?"

Girl: "Public relations."

Guy: "Oh, so you’re going to be a stripper."

—Location unknown

Girl: "That’s that girl from high school."

Girl 2: "Ewwww."

Guy: "That’s horrible."

Girl 2: "No it’s a good eww, like, ‘yay’ eww."

—Campus Connector

"I’m telling you the best way to get over a hangover is to lay out in the sun all day."

—Cooke Hall

"Hurry up and win! I’m sick of spanking myself!"

—University Avenue

"I can’t tell how far in it is."

—Dinkytown

"There was a 25 percent decrease in penis size. You can imagine they weren’t too happy about that."

—Green Hall

Professor: "Ever stick a banana in a tailpipe?"

—Animal growth and development class

"My daughter’s in the basement drinking beer and watching soap operas."

—Hanson Hall

"Haven’t you heard? It’s an official rule that I don’t have to have my pants on past 10 o’clock."

—Middlebrook Hall

"I’m brown on the outside but white on the inside. I’m like a burnt Twinkie."

—Campus Connector

"That’s about as bad as a hot dog being thrown down a hallway."

—Coffman Union

"I’m never licking your hand again."

—Megabus

Guy: "So what are you guys doing here?"

Girl: "I’m stripping!"

Professor: "Oh, please don’t say that, I could get fired."

—West Bank

"How about calculating the amount of wine you can put into a goblet? You have to know these kinds of things."

—Statics class