Overheard Around Campus

Girl 1: “What would you do if I bought you a pack of cigarettes?”

Girl 2: “I would light one and burn you with it. Gross.”

—East Bank

“I try not to curse as a rule of thumb, because my wife often curses in front of the kids, often at them ...”

—Blegen Hall

Guy 1: “Life is solely about finding someone of the opposite sex.”

Guy 2: “Correction: Life is solely about finding someone of the opposite sex and in the meantime playing with my Friday Soundboard app on my iPod.”

—Superblock

“Ah! My day is going terribly. First I can’t find any ecstasy, and now it’s going to snow on Tuesday!”

—Pioneer Hall

Guy 1: “I have a vagina waiting for me in bed.”

Guy 2: “Yeah, it’s probably your mom’s.”

Guy 1: “Does it really matter?”

—Frontier Hall

“So you CAN talk during a silent auction!”

—Dinkytown

Girl 1: “What’s your home address?”

Girl 2: “Um … 612 ...”

Girl 1: “OK, that’s your phone number.”

Girl 2: “Oh ... ha ha, right.”

—Caribou Coffee

“I’m going to accessorize all the way to Tate.”

—Comstock Hall

“Go to the meeting. And then go to the hedgehog.”

—Coffman Union

TA: “Make sure you check out the white stuff that Scott made.”

—Chemistry lab

Professor: “Have any of you read it? No one? Good, so you won’t know I’m bull-shitting.”

—Nicholson Hall

Professor: “Kanye West. Did I say that right? My son would be cringing right now. He cringes a lot.”

—Blegen Hall