Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

Is graduate school a bad decision? Am I just putting off the inevitable?

—Sam

Sam,

Yes and yes.

—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

After a date went downhill this weekend, my girlfriend of three months broke up with me. We had issues in the past, but nothing we couldn’t work through — or so I thought.

She said she wanted to end the relationship but still be friends.

The odd thing about this was that she said she still wanted to go to Wisconsin Dells with my best friend and his girlfriend like we had planned, as well as the cross-country road trip we had planned for this summer.

I told her that I’d have a hard time acting like we were “just friends” and explained that our good times have by far outweighed the bad; she said that’s why we could still be friends.

I think she is playing games. Something tells me she still has feelings for me, and this is a way to string me along.

Should I give her a good dose of “no contact” to essentially make her miss me and let her be the first to initiate any sort of communication? I want to completely reverse this situation and get her back. I’m not willing to be a second-class citizen in her life.

—End Zone Or Friend Zone?

End Zone,

Tell her that she can’t come on your water park fun trip or your cross-country excursion because she’s going to ruin it for everyone.

It is 100 percent unfair to ask you to still be friends with her, especially if the breakup was a one-way decision. Tell her that  she can’t even touch the cake that she wants to have and eat.

If you play her games, you’re going to get strung along and end up hurt, and your summer vacations are going to be ruined.

While your best friend and his girlfriend are happily snuggling, you’re going to be pursuing redemption. If she’s really a hardass, you’re going to end up sad, she’s going to end up crabby and everyone’s going to end up
uncomfortable.

Tell her that if she wants it to be over, she’s got to give you up completely. If she takes you back, feel free to give the relationship another shot. If she says goodbye, don’t go begging, drunk calling, occasional Facebook messaging or especially texting.

Let her be, my child.

—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

What am I going to do without your sage advice every weekday?

—James

James,

I’m just the triple A pitcher, man. As a big boy you’re going to have to move up to reruns of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.

—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

I’m graduating. I’m out of here. This life is over. I want to start fresh. How do I dump the girl?

Minneapolis is great, but I need to get out of the Midwest to find an exciting new job with my boring old degree.

My girlfriend needs to be secure. Even with a safety net she’d never walk a tightrope. She doesn’t visit her family often but needs to know they’re supporting her.

By now she understands how restless I am and plans on coming with me whenever I leave. It would be a big step for her, but I don’t want her with me. She would bog me down and I would have to pass up opportunities.

Should I pull the midnight escape?

—Dark Cowboy

DC,

The midnight escape is an interesting idea, but I would keep that in your pocket as a last resort.

Explain to her that in your head, she represents a period in your life that you want to leave behind, and you can never start anew without being completely free. If she says she’s ready to change with you, tell her you don’t believe her.

Better yet, give her some scenarios:

 If you got off a Greyhound at 2 a.m. in the outskirts of a strange city with just a backpack and little cash, would you sleep outside for the night?

Would you hitchhike from one state to another?

Would you take a four-month temporary job?

Let her know clearly that you need some air and that you need to find a more rewarding life that doesn’t involve the Twin Cities.

If all else fails: Giddyup.

—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

Could you write me a letter of recommendation for an internship I’m applying for?

—Roger

Roger,

________

<signed>

—D.D.S.