Overheard around campus

Student 1: “Don’t you know that you get all A’s if you get hit by the Connector?”
Student 2: “No, stupid, they pay for your classes if you get hit by a Connector. You get all A’s if your roommate dies.”
—Campus Connector

“I hate women that tell me what to do! I’ll have you know that I’ll never work for a woman.”
—Carlson School of Management

Girl 1: [points at sweatshirt] “What’s Okoboji?”
Girl 2: “A big lake in Iowa. It’s about the only thing Iowa has to offer.”
Girl 1: “No, that’s not true. Chicago is in Iowa.”
—Molecular and Cellular Biology elevator

“It’s like ‘Where’s Waldo’ but with bigger boobs.”
—Campus Connector

Professor: “Should I read the first chapter of Genesis for the class, or is everyone familiar with it that we can move forward with the discussion?”
Student 1: “Read it!”
Professor: “Jesus!”
Student 2: “No, he comes later in the book.”
—Nicholson Hall

“I’m not going to skip chem. just because I don’t have pants!”
—West Bank
University police officer: “If you order a McChicken, you get pulled over by McChickens.”
—Dinkytown

“I was like, ‘It’s French! There’s always a [expletive] article!’”
—Outside Science Teaching and Student Services

Student: “My birthday is on Christmas!”
Professor: “That’s interesting. My birthday is June 25, so the exact opposite of Christmas, which means, naturally, I am the Anti-Christ.”
—Hanson Hall

“I am never putting that in my mouth again … ever.”
—Business stats class

Professor: “If you could have any superpower, what would you pick?”
Student: “China.”
—Vincent Hall

TA: “I like to draw naked people … I am undressing all of you!”
—Architecture 1701 lecture