Overheard Around Campus

Professor: “There are three stages in life: being a student, corporate hell and death.”

—Carlson School of Management

Girl 1: “How was your weekend?”

Girl 2: “Well ... I have a pair of my insurance agent’s boxers ...”

Girl 1: “Uh, how did you get those?”

Girl 2: “Uh, yeah a coffee appointment turned into him coming over. Either way I got a new insurance agent because I feel like that is a conflict of interest.”

—Unknown

“I’m starting to get to that age where people are getting pregnant … and keeping them!”

—Coffman Union

“My class is all really smart people. You know, mostly guys.”

—Northrop Mall

“All the members of the marching band deserve to get laid.”

—TCF Bank Stadium

Girl: “Don’t put your finger in that!”

—Sally’s Saloon and Eatery

“That’s the only reason I’m with him. Plus, I want ginger babies.”

—Middlebrook Hall

“Don’t lick your fingers in the laboratory, especially when working with unknown chemicals because it might be a potent poison. But I guess that’s how natural selection works.”

—Biochemistry lecture

Girl: “I had my interview today. Went pretty good!”

Guy: “So they gave you the job?”

Girl: “Better! They gave me a roll of toilet paper!”

—Unknown

“Don’t do it. Facebook has a very low activation energy.”

—Unknown

Professor: “How do they not have a bar there? That’s one of the great parts of skiing. You get lit and then try to maneuver your way down the hill and stay out of the trees.”

—Carlson School of Management

Construction worker: “There are kids everywhere!”

—Northrop Auditorium