Overheard Around Campus

“My ankles itch like my junk did after that night I slept with Jake’s sister.”

—St. Paul

“I did it! That was the first intentional burp of my life!”

—Middlebrook Hall

“Natural disasters? For me the worst disaster was when the Rock left WWE.”

—Washington Avenue Bridge

“New dress code: If you dress like you’re from the ‘Jersey Shore,’ you ain’t getting through the door.”

—Frontier Hall

“Do you have any idea what my mother would say if she knew where my tongue was last night?”

—Recreation Center

“I tried riding horses once, but I never felt like I was in the Wild West — probably because it was a pony.”

—Walter Library

Guy: “Am I the only one that gets really uncomfortable when I see a box of tampons?”

—West Bank

Girl 1: “I slept with Jeff last night.”

Girl 2: “Did you at least imagine the face of a decent looking guy while you did it?”

—Dinkytown

Girl 1: “Those ads are right. The worst thing about drinking is the shame.”

Girl 2: “You’re ashamed that you’re a slut, not that you drink.”

—Campus Connector

Guy 1: “So seriously guys, what is the closest star to the earth?”

Guy 2: “The sun, dumbass.”

—University Village

Guy 1: “I’m going to get medicine to survive this cold”

Guy 2: “You can get meds from the health advocate.”

Guy 1: “I don’t want condoms for my cold.”

—Frontier Hall

Guy 1: “Have you seen him? He could beat me up!”

Guy 2: “You could totally take him in a fight. You’re almost 7 feet tall!”

Guy 1: “Yeah, but he can jog.”

—Unknown