Overheard

Student: “He went to Carlson. They don’t learn work ethic there. They learn to network and party.”

—Engineering class

Professor: “If you have no children, you are easy to delete, because no one cares about you.”

—Computer science lecture

“I just found out I was pregnant. Do I get out of spring finals now?”

—Moos Tower lounge

Girl 1: “I can touch my toes to my nose!”

Girl 2: “You’d be really good at childbirth.”

—Dinkytown

“Yeah, I didn’t even realize it until there was blood on the curtain.”

—Centennial dining hall

“The few, the proud, the douchebags on mo-peds.”

—Dinkytown

Girl 1: “Did you just say ‘I’m tired’ in sign language?”

Girl 2: “No I just scratched my face ...”

—Unknown

“All my friends poke my mom.”

—Pioneer Hall

“They give us the crappy food because they know T-Hall kids obviously don’t care about their weight if they party so much. I don’t, I probably drank 10 pounds of Vodka this weekend.”

—Centennial dining hall

Student: “The guy who wrote the reading for today has the same name as you.”

Professor: “It’s a small world after all!”

—Blegen Hall

“Ah! Good news! I got my period.”

—Campus Connector

“Ice cream is a double-edged sword. It hurts, but it feels so good.”

—Bailey dining hall

“You put your clothes on when you talk to me!”

—Centennial Hall

Girl: “At one point it was questionable whether I could keep it all in my mouth.”

—Centennial dining hall

Guy 1: “Hey bro, remember when we made up on that couch?”

Girl 1: “You guys did what?!”

Guy 2: “Oh, don’t worry baby, he said ‘up’ not ‘out.’”

—Blarney’s