Overheard

“The nice thing about white cats is you can dye ’em any color you want.”

—Ruttan Hall

Professor: “Liquid helium costs more than good scotch.”

—Physics lecture

Guy: “I’m not trying to impress anyone. I’m wearing pants.”

—Sanford Hall

Girl 1: “Are you going to dress up for Halloween?”

Girl 2: “Yes, I think I have the stuff to be a slutty Alice in Wonderland.”

—Unknown

Girl 1: (Looking at arm) “Where did this come from?”

Girl 2: “God?”

Girl 1: “God didn’t cut me.”

 —Lind Hall

“I’m all in favor of ripping off the U, as long as it can be done on the up and up.”

—Faculty office

Guy: “That’s the most Irish thing you can do ... besides getting wasted ... and eating potatoes.”

—Akerman Hall

Girl: “Just tell him you love him. I’m so good at the mushy stuff. I should be in a relationship!”

—Washington Avenue Bridge

Professor: “Signs of opiate withdrawal can even include spontaneous ejaculation and orgasms. So at least it’s not all bad.”

—Willey Hall

Professor: “Five square root of three divided by three? Are you a nerd? Who knows that? Who simplifies that off the top of their head?”

—Physics lecture

“It’s so weird to see everyone wearing clothes.”

—Centennial dining hall

Professor: “You know how you can make good money? Dancing topless.”

—Urban planning class

“So, it smells like a normal brownie and it tastes like a normal brownie, but the effects are not of a normal brownie.”

—Coffman Union

Girl: “And then I was like, ‘Yo baby, I can do it without a chaser.’ And then I showed him and that’s the last thing I remember.”

—SuperBlock