Overheard Around Campus

“Mufasa makes such a good catch when he saves Simba. I think we should recruit him to play for the Gophers.”

—Unknown

Girl: “All day long: coffee and restroom, coffee and restroom.”

—Wulling Hall

“You just made that thing disappear with a little cream on your lip.”

—Dinkytown

“It was funny because he had a dress on, so he left a trail of piss.”

 —Washington Avenue

“Watching zit popping videos on YouTube almost turns me on.”

—Wilkins Hall

“Why is yogurt so feminine? Can’t a guy enjoy some Activia?”

—Middlebrook Hall

Student [touring U]: “Does it really snow here?”

—West Bank

Guy 1: “Do you think Goldy is getting slightly aroused by all the Gopher Spirit today?”

Guy 2: “I would like to think so.”

Guy 1: “That would be pretty neat.”

—TCF Bank Stadium

“I’ll just wear underwear this Halloween, then.”

—Science Teaching and Student Services building

Girl 1: “Nothing had happened and now that it has, it’s just … weird.”

Girl 2: “Kind of feels like incest, right?”

Girl 1: “Yeah!”

—West Bank

“I hate when the school part gets in the way of college.”

—Recreation Center

“I got seven condoms and a Snickers bar tonight. That’s a good haul.”

—Fraternity Row

“If he whips it out, I swear I’m going to cut it off.”

—Scholars Walk

“I just walked into my room and found a package of condoms, and I thought, ‘Do I own these?’”

—Middlebrook dining hall