Overheard Around Campus

“I can’t wait till I peak all over at the gym.”

—Dinkytown

Girl [on the phone]: “Wait, did you two bang on my futon? Did I do anything with him? But he’s in my bed?”

—Pioneer Hall

Girl 1: “Yeah, and then it shot glitter up my nose.”

Girl 2: [laughs]

Girl 1: “It’s not funny. I’ll never get it all out.”

—Middlebrook Hall

Guy: “This is hard to do with one hand.”

Girl: “Yeah, it’s a skill I’ve mastered.”

—Sanford Hall

Student: “Were you in a limo downtown this weekend?”

Professor: “Have you seen my shoes!? I’m not riding around in limos!”

—Lind Hall

Girl 1: “Why does the gopher have wings?”

Girl 2: “He’s dressed like Buzz Lightyear.”

Girl 1: “Why is he dressed like that?”

Girl 2: “It’s for Halloween.”

Girl 1: “But Halloween’s not until Monday.”

—TCF Bank

“Everyone checks out everyone on the escalators at Coffman”

—Coffman Union

“I don’t want some random salad toss. I want a classy salad toss.”

—Sanford Hall

Guy 1: “Dude, the cops are here; put the cup down!”

Guy 2: “No! The party is still going!”

—Bio-Medical Library

“The least you could’ve done was drunk dial me.”

—Centennial dining hall

“… the double team just never works for anybody.”

—Unknown

Guy 1: “Dude, I was just in the bathroom for an hour!”

Guy 2: “What were you doing?”

Guy 1: “Who even knows!”

—Unknown