Overheard

Girl: “OMG, it’s Nov. 11, 2011. That’s 11-11-11! It’s my lucky day.”
Guy: “Yeah, I heard room #1111 on the 11th floor of Middlebrook is partying at 11:11 p.m. for a whole minute! Definitely the time to make a wish!”
—Middlebrook Hall

Girl 1: “He’ll forgive you in due time. Like nine months.”
Girl 2: “Yeah...” (her stomach growls) “Hello, tummy! ... Oh god ...”
—Unknown

Girl: “What did you do this weekend?”
Guy: “I went to Blarney’s, got wasted!”
Girl: “Did you dress up?”
Guy: “Yes, I was a waste bucket!”
Girl: “Oh ...? Did I throw up into ...  on you?”
—Carlson School of Management

Professor: “Whoever invented Windows should be shot!”
—Science Teaching and Student Services

Guy 1: “I was a beast at Roller Coaster Tycoon.”
Guy 2: “Yeah, I played Sim Theme Park, so I can’t really connect.”
Guy 1: “Wow, you’re a loser.”
—Frat Row

Girl 1: “I don’t know why my brother wants to go to KFC.”
Girl 2: “Maybe he just wants to try something different.”
Girl 1: “Yeah, but we usually go to Taco Bell and steal 900 sporks.”
—Molecular and Cellular Biology

“I’ve dabbled in the arts of Mario Kart.”
—Unknown

“Well, I’ve got a restraining order against my mother-in-law …”
—Middlebrook Hall

“I drink 16 hours of the day. The other eight, I’m passed out.”
—Campus Connector

“Why does it feel like Christmas now that I know that lab is canceled?”
—Walter Library

“If we win this game, I’m OK with someone puking in our washing machine again this weekend.”
—TCF Bank Stadium