Overheard Around Campus

“OK, I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to react. I’m not wearing underwear or a bra right now.”

—McDonald’s

“Did you just friend my cat on Facebook?”

—Middlebrook Hall

“You’re skipping an ethics class? The only thing worse than that is cheating on an ethics exam!”

—Washington Avenue

Guy: “Did you sleep?”

Girl: “I slept on accident.”

Guy: “Sometimes that’s the only kind of sleep I get.”

—Rapson Hall

“I was thinking about my diet the other day. I figured out it’s one part caffeine pills, one part ramen and one part vodka.”

—Mechanical Engineering building

Girl: “I can’t believe I’ve been roofied three times already!”

—Washington Avenue and Harvard Street

Guy: “It’s like screwing a girl who forgot to take her tampon out.”

—Comstock Hall

Girl: “Matt Damon’s smile could make any girl pregnant!”

—Yudof Hall

Guy 1: “Dude, are you doing no-shave November?”

Guy 2: “No. Skyrim came out. Things happen.”

—Middlebrook Hall

“Is it just me, or does our dorm have a lot of gingers with attitudes?”

—Comstock dining hall

“My brother bought my dad LSD for Christmas one year … It was a weird Christmas.”

—Sanford Hall

“What’s the point of turning 21 when I have been drinking for three years?”

—Coffman Union

“I could live in a world of paisley and glitter.”

—Carlson School of Management

Girl: “Are you OK? You look tired.”

Guy: “I bought Call of Duty.”

—Science Teaching and Student Services