Dr. Date

Dr. Date,

I’m about to sound like a major creep, but I am willing to risk it because I’m a hopeless romantic or maybe just hopeless.

OK, here is the deal. There is this guy that I have seen at a few parties early in the semester, and I see him on campus every now and then. It could just be in my head, but I feel like we make eye contact every time we see each other.

Here’s the creepy part: I found him on Facebook through mutual friends. Let me tell you, we are made for each other. Well, that’s what his Facebook page tells me.

The problem is, my mutual friends aren’t that close with him. So, it’s not as easy as, “Have your friends set you up.” Even worse, I’ve gathered that he is going abroad next semester. I know, I have Facebook issues. It might come in handy one day though, right?

The point is the semester’s almost over. So, what’s the diagnosis? Should I just forget it? Am I a hopeless romantic or straight up hopeless?

—Time Crunch

Cap’n Crunchtime,

Have you ever tried letting a little “hello,” “hey” or even “wazzzaaa” float from your lips?

That would be a pretty good litmus test of whether or not he’s making eyes with you for a split-second on the mall.

All the album views in the world can’t introduce you. It may not be so easy so as to “have your friends set you up,” but for future reference, it is so easy as to just be as simple as “walking up and saying ‘hello.’”

Don’t be so quick to think you two are soul mates because of how well you “click” together. As of right now, you may not be made for each other but your Facebook pages certainly are.

Let’s face it, toots. This little chickadee’s gonna fly the coop real soon. Even if you were able to get in touch (physically speaking), chances are he’s not about to swear off exotic poon-tang for some girl he met back home a month before — not to mention one who spends an inordinate amount of time living out her fantasies on the Internet.

Besides, you barely — if at all — know the guy. Everyone looks better on social networking sites. That’s what they’re for, after all. At least while he’s away, your Facebook stalking will take on an international flavor. But save yourself the trouble and forget it, at least for now.

—Dr. Date

Dr. Date,

I have just gotten out of a relationship that lasted a year or so and I have started to enjoy the single life. I have definitely gotten attention from other men, but my problem is that almost every guy is much younger than I am.

 I am a senior, and I am getting attention from boys who are sophomores or even freshmen. It is a waste of my time. I give them a chance, but they have the maturity level of someone who is in high school compared to what I am used to and when it comes to experience.

 I feel horrible going from boy to boy almost every other week, and I wish to find a man who is confident, mature and knows what he is doing. What should I do to not get attention from youngins? Or at this rate, am I a cougar in training?

—Woman Needing A MAN

Amanda Hugginkiss,

Whoa whoa whoa, whoa. Slow down there, old lady. Sure, a good man is hard to find, but I can’t see how you would be able to slide the caboose of your single whistle-stop tour straight into Cougartown when you have already expressed distaste for the younger man.

You are [Demi] Moore or less being an ageist. I really can’t see how one to two years tacks up to the “much younger” title.

 It would seem you are in the second stage of single-tude, where a single person — after prolonged lamentations about how miserable they are being single and how no one approaches them — delivers their second series of sermons about how miserable they are about the type of people who approach them.

It’s totally understandable that you’re looking for a fella who’s “confident, mature and knows what he is doing.” Then again, I have a feeling that guys who are insecure, immature and have no clue what they’re doing aren’t exactly in high demand. I’d advise against brushing off an entire class (or two or three) of eligible bachelors simply because of poorly informed notions about typical behavior in their age group — especially when you’re in search of a guy who’s not just going to be the flavor of the week.

While plenty of boys put up good manly fronts, you never know when you’ll find that good man nestled in a less-sophisticated exterior.

—Dr. Date