Overheard

“On Black Friday, I got knocked up at Target ... for $1.99.”
—Unknown

Girl 1: “I got a new kitty. His name is Sebastian.” [shows picture]
Girl 2: “Ooh, my kitty ovaries!”
—Folwell Hall

“I’m not legally an alcoholic yet.”
—Coffman Union

“Because this is Karkov, like, if you drink Karkov a lot, is it true that you can go blind?”
—Pioneer Hall

Guy 1: “His girlfriend was in the other room when we …”
Guy 2: “What did you guys do?!”
Guy 1: “… I’ll tell you once this jerk behind us stops eavesdropping.”
 —Vincent Hall

Girl 1: “Can I turn on the Victoria Secret Fashion Show tonight?”
Girl 2: “My mom says it’s like watching porn.”
Girl 1: “It is not! It’s way cuter than porn.”
—Dinkytown

Girl 1: “I’ll trade you my Ninetales for your Raichu.”
Girl 2: “Uh, I’m going to have to think about that one … I’ll get back to you and call you later.”
—Northrop Mall
Tour guide: “And that building is the Weisman …”
High school student 1: “That’s so cool!”
High school student 2: “Isn’t that the game stadium?!”
—Outside Fraser Hall

“I have a UTI, so I didn’t have a fun Thanksgiving weekend.”
—Coffman Union

“The reason I know is because I belong to an international drug cartel.”
—Anderson Hall

Girl: “My grandma has a beard. So, like, that’s my life goal — to have a beard.”
—Unknown

Guy [on phone]: “Look, you need to get out of this love triangle before it becomes a ... “ [looks down, counts five fingers, looks back up] “ ... love isosceles trapezoid!”
—Campus Connector