Overheard

Guy: “You know what’s a good mixer? Vanilla Coke.”
Girl 1: “Coke in general is good.”
Girl 2: “Even the drug kind?”
—Folwell Hall

Student: “Did I see you walking the other day?”
Professor: “Well, I walk every day.”
—Hanson Hall

Girl: “I failed both my exams, but I still got a 98 percent in the class! How do you think that happened? My professor was old ... and male ... but I swear I didn’t do anything!”
—East Bank

”You had turkey for Thanksgiving? What are you? White?”
—Coffman Union

Girl: “What are you getting me for Christmas?”
Guy: “I was thinking a baby!”
—Nicholson Hall

“So once I finish stapling the pretty ladies to my poster, I am going to Google image search pictures of anger.”
—Middlebrook Hall

“What makes you think I won’t make my candy cane a shiv and shank you?”
—Yudof Hall

Girl 1: “I would climb him like a ficus!”
Girl 2: “What does that even mean?”
—Yudof Hall

“I can touch your calf if you want me to.”
—Middlebrook Hall

Girl: “So, I got a guinea pig. It’s really cute, but kind of old.”
Guy: “So, you bought it just to see it die?”
—Unknown

Guy: “Last year we swept the Gophers. It’s going to happen again. Don’t cry when they get swept.”
Girl: “Seriously, we can’t be friends. You can apologize Saturday when your hockey team is riding the bus back to whatever junior college they came from, Gopher rejects.”
—Nicholson Hall

“We call them ‘Toga Parties’ because ‘Almost Naked Parties’ sounds bad.”
—Centennial dining hall