Dr. Date

Dr. Date,
So, four years ago I made a very stupid mistake of making my crush mad and hurting his pride just because of a misunderstanding that he never let me to clarify. He  stopped communicating with me until now. Finally, we started talking again; I mostly asked questions and he answered. I no longer have a crush on him, but I honestly really want to clear things up, get back to where all this mess began and make things right.

We are in different states right now so it is unlikely that I can just come up and talk face to face. But I think Facebook won’t be a good way of communicating either. Should I ask him to Skype or talk on the phone? And if so, what should I say? My friends told me to forget it and just let him be the past; do you think I should listen to her?
—Don’t Want To Crush Him

Dear Crusher,
Do you really want to re-establish ties with someone who cut you off in the first place because of a bruised ego? So there was a misunderstanding. Chances are it wasn’t as grave as the one that led Romeo to think his Juliet wasn’t just laying down for a potion-induced snoozer. Seeing as you offered exactly no details on what this little diddy of a misstep was, I have no idea what you “should say,” or whether this whole four-year-old misunderstanding-in-need-of-clarifying is even worth making a big to-do over in the first place.

If you really are hell-bent on clearing your name, you oughta just drop the guy a line on the ol’ telephone. Be sure to preface the conversation with, “Is now a good time to talk?” after the “hello’s” and “how are you’s,” before launching into your … apology?

I recommend calling because you don’t seem to be the type to check your correspondence for spelling and/or grammatical errors (see: your original letter, which was extensively edited), so I suppose writing something is out of the question. You say you no longer have a crush on the guy, and if that is in fact true, listen to Reason (presumably your friend’s name). Why are you interested in opening an old wound, with a clearly sensitive person no less, when it’s unlikely the whole rigamarole will make you look anything other than selfish or borderline obsessive?
—Dr. Date

Dr. Date,
I recently watched this YouTube video titled, “Why Men and Women Can’t Be Friends” where they argued just that: Men and women can’t be just friends. The basis for this argument is that men would, in all cases presented, hook up with their female companion if the opportunity presented itself. So, I decided to turn to the University’s favorite relationship guru for some wisdom. What say you, Doc?
—Fighting for Friendship

Dear Friendly Fighter,
It’s usually best to err on the side of not making sweeping generalizations taken from a presumptive Youtube video.

It’s been said that you should believe half of what you see, and nothing you hear. I don’t know who said that, but I don’t believe it. In any case, this saying ought to be updated for the 21st century citizen to read, maybe something along the lines of: “Believe half of what you see, one-eighth of what you read online and one-sixteenth of what someone tells you they read online, and none of what you hear, plus — if applicable — nothing ever.”

Maybe you should turn that logic back onto yourself. Would you sleep with any of your friends (of the gender that may share the basis of your sexual attraction) if the opportunity presented itself?

Just because a guy would sleep with a lady-friend at the slightest provocation doesn’t exclude friendship as a possibility for the two. No, not all guys are like that. Not all people are like that, either.

However, I’d say most of us are friends with people who are of a similar degree of “attractiveness” to ourselves. Ever notice good-looking people tend to travel in packs? It might just be that we (men, women, etc) like spending time around people whom we feel attracted to, and attractive to, in some respect. Doesn’t that make life a little more interesting?

After all, what is a stranger but a friend you haven’t met? What is a friend but a lover you haven’t slept with?

In the end, my advice to you is this: When it comes to gender relations, don’t generalize, young YouTuber. It’s annoying, and totally unattractive.
—Dr. Date