Dr. Date

Dr. Date,

I’m a girl (who has trouble getting and keeping a “grip”), who has been seeing a guy regularly for the past couple months. The only thing is he seems for the past month to have been hot for me one week, cool the next and then repeat.

Is this just an absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder thing, aka normal, or is he toying with me because he doesn’t have the guts to come right out and say he’s not interested in seeing me anymore?

—Butter Fingers

Butter Fingers,

Looks like you can’t keep a grip on this mercurial fella who’s clearly become somewhat of a full-time handjob. When dealing with a bucking bronco, try to hang on tight, smack his ass and go along for the ride. Don’t try to make it even more slippery, butter fingers, by getting your lubricating tears into the mix. Isn’t it friction that makes these things all the more interesting?

Just kidding, he’s probably leaving a trail of hints so obvious he doesn’t even need to leave you a pocket knife to fight your way out of the pre-breakup brush, which is lush with “it’s not you it’s me” rhododendrons and “I love you, I’m just not IN LOVE with you” hanging vines. Let this Tarzan swing away. He may not have the guts, but that doesn’t mean you should cling to whatever capricious affection he’s tossing your way.

—Dr. Date

Dr. Date,

I have chosen to not become Facebook friends with new guys I meet that I date. I want to get to know them in person for a while, and then if it doesn’t work out, I don’t have to remain fake friends with them online or go through the pain of defriending them. Am I setting myself up for failure, though? Do the guys think I’m hiding something if I keep my profile private and don’t want to be their friend online until I know them better?

—Mysterious Mary

Dear Cold, Heartless Crone,

I’m just kidding. That sounds like an OK plan to ol’ Dr. Date. I don’t exactly identify defriending someone on Facebook as something that falls on the “pain”-o-meter alongside your first booster shot or getting a circumcision as an adult, but I suppose, for you, it’ll have to do.

Will they think you’re hiding something? Hm … back before blogs, Twitter and Facebook came along, who could we possibly share all of our deepest secrets with? If a Facebook page is your idea of a private space, you may want to rethink why you’re on there in the first place. Friending someone on Facebook ain’t exactly disclosing your identity as Deep Throat (ahem). I don’t see any problem with shuttering off the details of your intimate life for just 300 of your closest friends. Why should you have to make an exception in some rando’s case? Sure, I don’t see anything weird about being more hesitant to “friend” someone online than you are to meet them for a date IRL. W/E amiright?

—TTYL!

Dr. Date,

I think I’ve seen a preview of what heaven has in store for us. I’ve seen this green-eyed angel around campus recently, and she never fails to capture my attention. Her ridiculously long lashes are so dark and lush, her cheeks are the perfect shade of rosy pink, her smile is so cute and innocent, but there’s just one thing holding me back from making a move: She wears a headscarf (one of my friends told me it’s called a hijab), which means she’s a Muslim.

Now, I have nothing against Muslims. This girl is a beauty I tell you, and I am dying to get to know her. I’m just not sure how to approach her and what her reaction will be if I do.

Does wearing a hijab automatically mean she’s religious and won’t go out with me, or should I give it a try and see if this could be the start of something wonderful?

—Struck By Cupid’s Arrow

Dear Cupid,

Just like any lady, don’t assume she’s going to go for what heat you’re packin’. However, if you feel she’s been battin’ her ridiculously long lashes your way, go ahead and approach this angel. I don’t know anything about this hijab-wearing hottie, so I suggest you strike up a conversation and get to know her before making any assumptions on what she’s down to do.

—Dr. Date