Overheard

Professor: “If you’re afraid to say things like beer equals sex in this class, you’re going to have trouble.”

—Unknown

Professor: “It doesn’t have to be understandable; it just has to be simple!”

—Science Teaching and Student Services building

Guy 1: “We’re on the college campus. All the kids on this bus are getting degrees and going places in life.”

Guy 2: “What’s the name of the school?”

Guy 1: “It’s called Gopher College.”

—Route 3 bus

“Surprise! You have herpes!”

—Comstock dining hall

Professor: “The younger they are, the hotter they are.”

[class laughs]

Professor: “That sounded bad, didn’t it?”

—Willey Hall

Professor: “One of the things I enjoy doing is breaking University policy.”

—Humphrey School of Public Affairs

Girl 1: “Don’t insult Hopslam! It’s like insulting my child.”

Girl 2: “I like it that you just compared beer to your child.”

Girl 1: “You’re right. I really don’t like kids.”

—West Bank

Girl 1: “If it was your baby you would like it because you created it.”

Girl 2: “So what? I don’t like my period, and that’s half a baby!”

—Unknown

Guy: “Lesson learned — don’t have parties at your house. People piss in your shampoo.”

—Coffman Union

Girl [talking about going to a strip club]: “Yeah, she’d probably go up and start ‘nerdy dancing.”

Girl 2: “Don’t you mean dirty dancing?”

Girl 1: “No, she is an Animal Science girl. It is definitely ‘nerdy dancing.’”

—St. Paul campus