Overheard

Student: “It’s Groundhog’s Day, and the groundhog saw its shadow. Sadly, that means six more weeks of winter.”  
TA: “That’s why they invented vodka.”   
Student: “So we can stay warm?”   
TA: “No, to make you forget about it!”
—Microbiology lab

Guy 1: “I heard he pooped in a shoe … at a party.”
Guy 2: “I was there!”
—Outside Coffman Union

Girl 1: “We almost died last night!”
Girl 2: “Yeah, sorry about that ...”
—Campus Connector

Girl 1: “What’s that thing called again when the sperm meets the egg ... inception? Like how they say, ‘Life begins at inception’?”
Girl 2: “OMG, no. It’s deception.”  
—Middlebrook Hall

Girl 1: “I had diarrhea last night.”
Girl 2: “I had it last week!”
Girl 1: “That’s so cool!”
—The Cube

[National Anthem is playing]
Girl 1 [covers ears]: “No! That’s Christmas music!”
Girl 2: “No it’s not. That’s the Pledge of Allegiance!”
—Middlebrook Hall
“If you go around Minneapolis saying, ‘Hey, I’m a Communist,’ they’ll be like, ‘Oh well, so is my barber and my doctor and everyone else I know.’”
—Comstock Hall

Guy 1: “Hey man, haven’t seen you in a while! Want to hang out later tonight?”
Guy 2: “Nope.”
—Campus Connector

“Who gets to decide what’s a word anyway?! Occupy English!”
—Unknown

“Now there’s ink all over my pen.”
—Comstock Hall

Guy 1: “I think that we just reached that point.”
Guy 2: “What point?”
Guy 1: “The point where we know that we are going to do nothing for the rest of the discussion period, but we are going to make it look like we are so that the TA doesn’t notice.”
—Calculus class