Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,
I am still in love with my ex. When we broke up, he said he wouldn’t rule out the possibility of dating in the future but not now. I’ve gone out on dates with some great guys, but I still keep finding myself wanting the ex. Is something wrong with me?
—Left Hanging

Dear Hang Time,
In the NBA, a technical foul is distributed to any player who hangs on the rim unless there is a player underneath him who would be endangered by a landing. With all the letters I receive from people wanting to hang onto bygone love, I’m going to start issuing my own technicals. You, my friend, get a T. And the person dangling beneath you is your livelihood. Go ahead and land — he’ll be all right.

In your love life, as in your real life, it’s paramount to maintain forward motion. It’s easy to want to glance in the rearview mirror. But the longer you stare, the more likely you’ll crash. It may sound like a good idea to get back where you once belonged, but once you’re there, you’ll more than likely be reminded of why you no longer belong. Nice slam dunk and everything, but get your butt back on defense; a fleet of possibilities charges.
—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,
Thanks for the advice. I read your column religiously and find it to be both humorous and helpful to my love life.

I have a question regarding hookups at parties. I frequent parties every weekend and have a knack for hooking up with girls. This might not sound like a bad thing, but I’m getting sick of this habit. I’ve tried going to parties with my mind made up to not find a girl, but alcohol and that cute blonde have a way of making me decide differently before the night is done. Do you have any ways to stop my man whore ways and just play nice?
—Hurtin’

Dear Man Whore,
First off, thanks for your support. If I can’t corner the man-whore market, what do I got, really?

As for your problem, I suppose you could quit partying for a while. Ya know, take a little sabbatical — really find out just who the man whore really is inside.

But that ain’t your style, is it, Chug-a-lug? You come alive amid the beer bongs, the hookah circles — you are the Peter Frampton of college kegs. But this is a case of classic neurological associations: You do a keg stand, you look for the blonde.

You say that you’ve tried to go to parties with the stubborn mind set of not hooking up. If you truly have no control, I’m afraid I can’t help you. I’m a sex advice doctor, not a sex addiction doctor.

That said, it could be that it’s the meaninglessness of these female encounters that discourages you. When’s the last time you hung around with your blonde for breakfast?
—Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,
I’m in a situation that I’m sure hundreds of other people on campus are dealing with and I (and probably everyone else) would LOVE some advice on it.

You see dear Doctor, as Valentine’s Day nears, I find myself in that annoying middle-ground phase of a relationship only made more annoying by the upcoming holiday. I like him, and I’m pretty sure he likes me too, but nothing has been officially said between us about it. We’ve been chatting, hanging out and have even spent a couple of innocent nights together (no we haven’t had sex. We haven’t even kissed yet — get your mind out of the gutter!). Part of me wants to bring it up, but I feel like the pressure of V-Day makes everything seem way more intense than it actually is, and I definitely don’t want to start a relationship prematurely just because of a holiday. I’m also more of a traditional kind of gal, so I would really prefer him to make the move, but I’m not afraid to go for it if I’m 100 percent sure.

Now, my question here is two-fold, do I A) talk to him about it and hope he doesn’t just say he likes me because of the V-Day spell, B) wait until after V-Day to bring it up or C) drop hints like mad and hope he picks up on them?

From here, the question becomes: What do I do for him for V-Day? If we talk and everything is good, or if I wait, what’s too much, and what’s not enough? Thanks for your advice.
—Just Hangin’ Out Here In The Middle

Dear Malcom,
Don’t make him play Sherlock Holmes with your feelings. If your smile means “I’m sad” and your frown means “OMG, it’s almost Valentine’s Day — GET ME SOMETHING,” you’re going to confuse the poor fella.

You say you’re old-fashioned; he should respect that. If you want to do something for Valentine’s Day, let him know in advance so he has time to plan it out.

And give the poor bastard a kiss while you’re at it. V-Day will be weird if you haven’t done that.
—Dr. Date