Overheard

Professor: “So you should be able to write this formula on a cocktail napkin in the basement of a fraternity while you’re playing beer pong … do they play beer pong here?”

—Tate Laboratory

Guy: “That’s exactly what I should do, start a dating service to help desperate guys meet girls. It would be like Hitch, but with more STDs.”

—Outside Coffman Union

Guy: “I would cut off one of my testicles if that meant I wouldn’t have to do homework for the rest of my life.”

—Middlebrook Hall

Girl 1: “Have you ever heard of STLF?”

Girl 2: “What’s that?”

Girl 1: “Students Today, Leaders Tomorrow.”

—Murphy Hall

“My roommate is no longer a drug dealer, so that’s good.”

—Campus Connector

Guy 1: “Dude, I hate that awkward moment when you stare at someone’s butt and it ends up being a guy.”

Guy 2: “Wait, hold up ... that doesn’t make sense. Aren’t you gay?”

Guy 1: “Your point?”

—Washington Avenue bridge

Professor: “Discussion the day before a midterm ... It’s like church on Easter.”

—Amundson Hall

Guy: “So what if I have gonorrhea?”

Girl: “Sh! Don’t say that out loud!”

Guy: “Oh please, it’s not like I’m hooking up with anyone on this bus.”

—Campus Connector

Girl [on phone]: “I got your Girl Scout cookies. You better be paying me back in vodka.”

—Coffman Union

Guy 1: “My calc teacher is so crazy. In the middle of a proof she will just switch the quantitive number on us.”

Guy 2: “My Spanish teacher is crazy, too. In the middle of class she will give us a pop quiz. C’mon this isn’t the ’90s, Señorita.”

—Keller Hall