Professor: “So you should be able to write this formula on a cocktail napkin in the basement of a fraternity while you’re playing beer pong … do they play beer pong here?”
Guy: “That’s exactly what I should do, start a dating service to help desperate guys meet girls. It would be like Hitch, but with more STDs.”
—Outside Coffman Union
Guy: “I would cut off one of my testicles if that meant I wouldn’t have to do homework for the rest of my life.”
Girl 1: “Have you ever heard of STLF?”
Girl 2: “What’s that?”
Girl 1: “Students Today, Leaders Tomorrow.”
“My roommate is no longer a drug dealer, so that’s good.”
Guy 1: “Dude, I hate that awkward moment when you stare at someone’s butt and it ends up being a guy.”
Guy 2: “Wait, hold up ... that doesn’t make sense. Aren’t you gay?”
Guy 1: “Your point?”
—Washington Avenue bridge
Professor: “Discussion the day before a midterm ... It’s like church on Easter.”
Guy: “So what if I have gonorrhea?”
Girl: “Sh! Don’t say that out loud!”
Guy: “Oh please, it’s not like I’m hooking up with anyone on this bus.”
Girl [on phone]: “I got your Girl Scout cookies. You better be paying me back in vodka.”
Guy 1: “My calc teacher is so crazy. In the middle of a proof she will just switch the quantitive number on us.”
Guy 2: “My Spanish teacher is crazy, too. In the middle of class she will give us a pop quiz. C’mon this isn’t the ’90s, Señorita.”
Nominate an exceptional graduating senior for the upcoming Ski-U-Mah Issue!
UMN students have traveled to Florida colleges to collaborate with students on various projects.
When UMN students plan for a vacation, having trip cancellation travel insurance is a worthwhile commodity to check out.
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