Professor [to student]: “Yeah, except for that one creepy quirk, I’d say you’re pretty smart.”
Accounting professor: “Imagine a mechanic tells you he can fix 37 percent of the car for $189. You can do one of the following things: One, get out your calculator; or two, grab that smart-ass by the collar and slap him!”
“I don’t trust rabbits. At least, anthropomorphic rabbits.”
Old woman: “What’s a vaporizer?”
Young guy: “It’s like a bong but classier.”
“Sometimes I find myself rationalizing cocaine ... like, it just makes you concentrate really hard.”
—Carlson School of Management
Girl 1: “Hey it’s National IHOP day ... they’re giving away free pancakes!”
Girl 2: “Where?!”
Girl 1: “... IHOP ...”
Girl 2: “... Oh.”
Girl 1: “So I was at the store yesterday, and I saw this guy who looked like Shaun White from behind, and instantly I wanted to bang him. Then he turned around, and I realized he was like 60.”
Girl 2: “Eww …”
Girl 1: “I don’t know, I still kind of wanted to.”
Girl: “What is the rate of disappearance?”
Guy: “How fast you can put on your invisibility cloak”
“I am going to try to get an autograph though, because he’s my friend’s favorite person in the world. Well, favorite after me.”
Guy 1: “They were only $8 at BigLots.”
Girl 1: “I didn’t know you shopped there.”
Girl 2: “It’s like the off-brand Kmart.”
Girl 1: “I thought you didn’t have class today?”
Girl 2: “I don’t. I came here to see all the mopey, sad faces of people who do.”
UMN students have traveled to Florida colleges to collaborate with students on various projects.
When UMN students plan for a vacation, having trip cancellation travel insurance is a worthwhile commodity to check out.
Minneapolis Used Cars
Give back to the Minnesota community with a boat donation at boat4causes.org.
If you have been involved in a car accident call a Philadelphia Car Accident Lawyer for a free consultation.