Overheard

Psychology professor: “Women love adventurous dates. I actually lost my virginity up in the Boundary Waters.”

[Class applauds]

Psychology professor: “That’s right, I’m not a virgin.”

—Science Teaching and Student Services building

Guy 1: “Croquet is on a horse.”

Guy 2: “No it’s not. Cricket is the game on a horse!”

—Dinkytown McDonald’s

“That guy passed physics two without studying. That guy is the boss. The Boss. Like, if there were a boss over all bosses, he would be the boss.”

—Dinkytown McDonald’s

“I finally got the neighbor’s cat with a trap yesterday.”

—Campus Connector

Guy: “I hate how it would be such a big deal if a guy went into the girl’s bathroom. What if a girl wanted to come in here and sneak a peek? We wouldn’t care!”

—Blarney Pub and Grill

“Are there more robots in Maraschino?”

—Outside Mariucci

“I’m not worried ... I’m perpetually drunk, and I still get A’s and B’s on all of my midterms.”

—Metro Transit bus

Girl: “I’m dying.” [Then plugs in iPod]

Guy: “First world problems ...”

Girl: “It’s not charging!”

—Coffman Union

Linguistics professor: “We are going to set this noun phrase off to the side and come back to it later. It’s like we’re on a cooking show and these are the chopped onions. We’re going to sauté this adjective and then combine it with that noun phrase later on.”

—Appleby Hall

Professor: “I wrote curiously here, but I can’t figure out why I wrote curiously ... I must’ve had an Altoid before I wrote this question.”

—Soil science class

“I didn’t give him weird looks because he was wearing heels. It was because his heels didn’t match what he was wearing.”

—Comstock Hall

“I don’t want you guys to use Times New Roman. It’s good for reading essays, but it’s too flowery and decorative for this presentation.”

—Smith Hall