Math Professor: “I have nothing against affection, but let’s keep our hands off each other during the quiz.”
Professor [after glancing at his phone]: “Somebody remind me after class to call my mother.”
Guy: “I don’t have the necessary oils ... nor the proper training in their use.”
Guy: “So that’s why people do this naked.”
Guy: “This would be easier if I could use my thumbs but ... uh ... I can’t.”
“Ah, I’m so sore. I did like three pushups yesterday.”
“I don’t understand how someone could run 20 miles in one sitting.”
“I like to remind people of their flaws.”
[Girl leaving class for work]
Guy: “Have fun at work!”
Girl: “Yeah, if you guys read a story about a girl killing high school prom-goers, that’ll be me.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be a jealous wife. I’m good at chasing — I’m just not good at capturing.”
Guy 1: “I got dumped.”
Guy 2: “What did you do?”
Guy 1: “I just didn’t do something she told me to do right away.”
Guy 1: “Can’t blame her then. You know, girls are like cellphones ... They like to be held and spoken to but push one wrong button, and then you’re permanently disconnected.”
Student to professor: “If he (another student) did bad on the paper, maybe everybody sucked, and there’s a curve.”
Professor: “There’s no curve! (laughs) The bodies of the dead won’t raise up the living.”
UMN students have traveled to Florida colleges to collaborate with students on various projects.
When UMN students plan for a vacation, having trip cancellation travel insurance is a worthwhile commodity to check out.
Minneapolis Used Cars
Give back to the Minnesota community with a boat donation at boat4causes.org.
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