Overheard around campus

Girl 1: “My roommate wasn’t home last night, so I got to do whatever I wanted.”

Girl 2: “So you did 80 squats?!”

—Stadium Village

Professor: “The opera is great when you’re drunk.”

—Nicholson Hall

Girl [Trying to think of how boys’ voices can be prevented from dropping]: “Remember when young men used to be, what’s it called, euthanized?”

—Willey Hall

Girl 1: “There’s usually a line here; there’s no line ...”

Girl 2: “It’s two in the morning!”

—McDonald’s

“I don’t hate you guys. It’s just that you’re poking me with a stick right now.”

—Unknown

Girl 1: “I just want to make you smile while sitting in a big bowl of spaghetti.”

Girl 2: “…”

—Unknown

Professor: “I was 11 months pregnant then.”

Student: “Wait ...”

—Amundson Hall

“I can’t wait for summer! There are old textbooks I want to reread!”

—Stadium Village

Girl 1 [while working on design homework]: “I don’t know how I want to do this bathroom ...”

Girls 2 and 3: “Well, I’d put a toilet in it ...”

—Pioneer Hall

“The uterus, if you haven’t had a baby, looks like a pear. If you have had a baby, it looks like ... a stretched out pear.”

—Science Teaching and Student Services building

Food science instructor [using a knife]: “Now don’t hurt yourselves, though. We don’t want to unnecessarily flavor the cabbage.”

—Food science lab

“It’s MISTER Salt and MISSUS Pepper; didn’t you watch Blue’s Clues?!”

—Middlebrook dining hall