Overheard around Campus

Guy: “Today I learned that women are better orators than men. No wonder I lose all of our arguments.”

Girl: “No baby, you lose because you are wrong.”

—Campus Connector

Professor: “You guys think this campus was made for you? You and 50,000-plus other students are part of an experiment that we, the professors, look over from the top of Moos Tower.”

Student: “Really?”

Professor: “No, silly. This is an example of sarcasm, which is today’s lesson.”

—Nicholson Hall

“When you get pregnant, you have to cut out all the good things in life like cigarettes, coffee and heroin.”

—Nicholson Hall

“Speaking of porn ... I think I’m going to make a Tumblr today!”

—Coffman Union

Guy: “Yeah, the report is supposed to be a thousand pages.”

Girl: “...”

Guy: “Words. WORDS!”

—Campus Connector

Guy: “Did you know Spongebob’s on Netflix?”

Girl: “YES!”

—Unknown

Professor: “I am a great watcher of porn.”

—Hubert H. Humphrey School of Public Affairs

Girl 1: “I love my grandma’s boobs; they’re super soft!”

Girl 2: “Your grandma’s boobs?”

Girl 1: “Yeah ... don’t you ever just lay down on your grandma’s boobs and sleep on them?”

—Coffman Union