Dear Dr. Date,
I know that it’s ethically wrong for a student and a TA/professor to hook up. But over the course of this semester, I’ve found my fondness for a certain TA growing stronger to what I hope is the peak of my attraction — because if it gets any stronger, I will have to spend all three hours of the once-a-week class with my legs crossed.
I don’t know if this is a side effect of senioritis, my complete lack of any sextracurricular activity this semester or perhaps a general spike of hormones with the approach of summer. But there’s something about him that is indescribably appealing. It doesn’t hurt that he also happens to be European.
I’d be willing to wait until post-finals to pursue him actively, but is there any way to tell if my feelings are reciprocated within the required professionalism of the classroom setting?
—Sex Ed 1001
Hot For TA,
The professionalism of the classroom only allows for so much revelation. Teaching assistants can’t just tell their students, “Hello, you look really hot today, and I can tell you’re squeezing your legs together because you don’t want that steam heat escaping!”
But there’s no University rule that restricts a TA from connecting with a student on a highly intellectual level.
You should get his brain juices flowing (hard) as often as you can while there’s still time left in the semester. I prescribe office hours to you, my girl. Not too many — you don’t want to be as ubiquitous as his sleep deprivation and the piles of papers he has to grade. Establish yourself as a pleasant and intellectually (and otherwise) stimulating presence.
Then say, “I love this class, and I find our conversations excite me about the topic. I’d love to continue this dialogue into the summer. Deep into the hot, wet summer months … Can you suggest a list of reading materials that would complement what I’ve learned from you?”
Way sexy, especially the part about reading materials.
If he looks visibly nervous, he’s yours — or he’s about to go propose to his equally appealing European girlfriend.
Dear Dr. Date,
Recently I have started dating this wonderful, smart, beautiful boy, and I am definitely falling for him. I know he likes me a lot. He is always fawning over my good looks and buying me food.
There is just one problem. When things start to get hot and heavy, he falls asleep. And I mean instantly, mid-hot and heavy. I always wake him up, but he doesn’t say a word and just picks up where we left off. I don’t know how to confront the issue. Is he just not that into me?
Just kidding, you don’t have to say “BYE” to him. Yet.
First, you have to talk about it. I’ll write a script out for you. If you feel nervous, you can hold a copy of this newspaper in your hands when you approach him and say:
“Hey, I want to talk about how you fall asleep when we hook up. Do you know what I’m talking about?”
Once you’ve opened that channel of communication, honesty will flow forth.
I believe that this guy really is into you — why else would he want to stuff your face so much?
But see what he says. Falling asleep in the heat of the moment demands an explanation, but he might not be able to give you one.
Here’s what the Doc is thinking: He might not even really realize he’s dozing off. His states of consciousness might be so blurred that he’s unaware when he’s transitioning from one to the next.
Sounds like a pretty serious issue.
It might be mental, it might be physical, and it might be psychological. The bottom line is that it’s probably not a problem having much to do with you. He should consider seeing a doctor who specializes in something other than love.
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