Overheard around Campus

“Ah, Spring Jam. It’s like Christmas for greek life, except instead of presents, most get alcohol poisoning, hangovers and regrets.”

—Kolthoff Hall

Student: “What is the best way to send my quiz to you? Email or to your mailbox?”

TA: “Email will do, as I check my email more than I drink water.”

—Blegen Hall

Professor: “OK, you can argue with me, but I’ll win.”

—Biology class

Student: “The reason I don’t drink is because of the fear of having my beard shaved.”

—Nicholson Hall

Math Professor: “Have you guys seen the ‘Titanic’ lately? Remember when the ship builder said, ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t build you a stronger ship, young Rose.’ Well, this is sort of like that. Sorry I couldn’t give you a better equation, guys.”

—Anderson Hall

Professor: “Orgies require a lot of planning.”

—Nicholson Hall

Girl: “If someone is attractive, and they run into you naked, are they your soul mate?”

—Washington Avenue Bridge

Girl 1: “Way to kill a bird with two stones.”

Girl 2: “No, kill two birds with one stone.”

—Yudof Hall

Guy 1: “Have you ever woken up in someone else’s underwear?”

Guy 2: “No ...?”

Guy 1: “Well, you obviously haven’t partied hard enough yet.”

Guy 2: “Have you?”

Guy 1: “No, we’re lame.”

—Territorial Hall laundry room

“That’s so unfair. You should totally be able to sell your organs for money if you want to!”

—Unknown

Guy: “The craziest thing happened to me today.”

Girl: “Oh yeah, what?”

Guy: “I got hit by a walker!”

Girl: “Um … what? So you mean someone just walked right into you? Did they say sorry?”

Guy: “No, like Grandma was BOOKIN’ it! And she hit me with her walker.”

—Campus Connector