“Ah, Spring Jam. It’s like Christmas for greek life, except instead of presents, most get alcohol poisoning, hangovers and regrets.”
Student: “What is the best way to send my quiz to you? Email or to your mailbox?”
TA: “Email will do, as I check my email more than I drink water.”
Professor: “OK, you can argue with me, but I’ll win.”
Student: “The reason I don’t drink is because of the fear of having my beard shaved.”
Math Professor: “Have you guys seen the ‘Titanic’ lately? Remember when the ship builder said, ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t build you a stronger ship, young Rose.’ Well, this is sort of like that. Sorry I couldn’t give you a better equation, guys.”
Professor: “Orgies require a lot of planning.”
Girl: “If someone is attractive, and they run into you naked, are they your soul mate?”
—Washington Avenue Bridge
Girl 1: “Way to kill a bird with two stones.”
Girl 2: “No, kill two birds with one stone.”
Guy 1: “Have you ever woken up in someone else’s underwear?”
Guy 2: “No ...?”
Guy 1: “Well, you obviously haven’t partied hard enough yet.”
Guy 2: “Have you?”
Guy 1: “No, we’re lame.”
—Territorial Hall laundry room
“That’s so unfair. You should totally be able to sell your organs for money if you want to!”
Guy: “The craziest thing happened to me today.”
Girl: “Oh yeah, what?”
Guy: “I got hit by a walker!”
Girl: “Um … what? So you mean someone just walked right into you? Did they say sorry?”
Guy: “No, like Grandma was BOOKIN’ it! And she hit me with her walker.”
UMN students have traveled to Florida colleges to collaborate with students on various projects.
When UMN students plan for a vacation, having trip cancellation travel insurance is a worthwhile commodity to check out.
Minneapolis Used Cars
Give back to the Minnesota community with a boat donation at boat4causes.org.
If you have been involved in a car accident call a Philadelphia Car Accident Lawyer for a free consultation.