Overheard

Professor: “What do monarch butterflies eat?”

Class: [mumbles]

Student: “... children!”

—Biological Sciences building

Guy 1: “Guess what I’m getting this Wednesday!”

Guy 2: “Syphilis?”

—Bailey Hall

Mom: “Did you lose your credit card?”

Guy: “No, why?”

Mom: “I saw you had a $140 withdrawal on it.”

Guy: “Yeah, I bought a keg ...”

—Folwell Hall

Guy 1: “Yeah I guess she’s cute.”

Guy 2: “Dude, she looks like Keanu Reeves.”

Guy 1: “Ehh, Keanu Reeves is a pretty good-looking guy.”

Guy 2: “I’ll drink to that.”

—Middlebrook Hall

“My job is to save marriages, save relationships and get people laid. I’m a Cupid!”

—Route 16 bus

Guy: “Yeah he said it turned him on in kinda a weird way.”

Girl: “What? Puking?”

—Bailey Hall

Girl: “What kind of dog is that?”

Guy: “Oh no, it’s a python.”

—Unknown

Guy: “He has rabies. He has raped three dogs.”

—Unknown

Girl: “I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t drink during the week except Thursdays. Those are my favorite nights.”

—Dinkytown

Guy: “Did you notice the lack of tooth?”

—Dinkytown

Guy: “Would you like to try my bubble stick? It’s easy.”

—Stone Arch Bridge