Overheard

“Hunting is like yoga, except you get to kill [expletive]!”

—Comstock Hall

Professor: “I’ve never had smoked iguana, but I have smoked marijuana.”

—Andrew Boss Laboratory-Meat Science

Girl: “I could totally ride a unicycle if it had handlebars.”

Guy: “Yeah, handlebars and another WHEEL!”

—2 Bus

“When we’re old and our husbands all die, can we live together again?”

—Dinkytown

Future Farmers of America Girl [speaking to other girl at sidewalk sale]: “Do you like this sweatshirt?”

FFA Girl 2: “Yeah, but maroon and gold aren’t their colors.”

FFA Girl 1: “Are you sure?”

FFA Girl 2: “Yeah! Maroon and gold is just for the St. Paul college. The main university has different colors.”

—St. Paul campus

Girl 1: “You know, I think Obama is the sassiest president we’ve ever had.”

Girl 2: “... I agree. He is so sassy.”

Girl 1: “SO sassy.”

—Unknown

Girl 1: “I just had to print so much [expletive]. The trees must think I’m evil.”

Girl 2: “At least you get to print it for free.”

—Carlson School of Management

Engineer 1: “The sound intensity is not obeying the inverse square law.”

Engineer 2: “Hmm …”

Engineer 1: “Yes.”

Engineer 2: “Maybe this place is exempt.”

Engineer 1: “Nobel prize.”

Engineer 2: “Probably.”

Engineer 1: “We have discovered the gates of hell.”

Engineer 2: “I knew it!”

Engineer 1: “Hazard pay.”

Engineer 2: “We should get that because then we might get a normal wage.”

Engineer 1: “It should be at least $40 an hour. What if a demon shows up?”

Engineer 2: “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

—University lab