Overheard around campus

“You do realize that by Saturday, every fluid in my body will be replaced with Red Bull.”

—Ruttan Hall

“I made a shot in the dark, and I hit the boob.”

—GrandMarc Seven Corners

Girl 1: “I miss guys!”

Girl 2: “Yes! I need some testosterone in my life!”

Girl 1: “Agreed. I need some male figures in me somehow.”

—Bailey Hall

Guy: “When I was watching ‘Green Lantern,’ all I could think was that that guy has the power to create anything he thought. Why doesn’t he just create a girl for himself?”

—Middlebrook Hall

Girl 1: “So my parents said they would take me and a friend to Rio this summer.”

Girl 2: “Where’s Rio?”

Girl 1: “I don’t know. I think in South America. I’m really bad at geometry.”

Girl 2: “I’m really bad at geometry, too.”

—Centennial Hall

Girl: “You are the most inconvenient mother I have ever had!”

—Folwell Hall

Girl: “Do you guys know if Walter has a library?”

—Outside Rapson Hall

“The equivalent of Facebook is wolves howling in the wilderness.”

—Willey Hall

“Even a prospective student saw me naked!”

—Near Comstock Hall

Guy 1: “So then the guy said that I had Satan in me.”

Guy 2: “That’s pretty hot.”

—Middlebrook Hall

“I can’t eat these fries with drunk boys all over my hands.”

—McDonald’s

Football player: “If it’s this nice tomorrow, I’m going to walk around naked.”

—Northrop Mall

Professor: “Why is sex good?”

[No one answers]

Professor: “Sex is only for children. No wait, for making children.”

—Unknown